I’ve been hearing some stories from friends that make my hair stand up on end, so I felt inspired to write this tribute!
I will not go on a tirade about how evil, mean, or whatever men are. Quite on the contrary! I want to write a blog about the good ones out there, because I tell ya, they are really, really hard to come by. I hate to be painting a bleak picture, but there is truth about the fact that most good men are either taken or gay. I am therefore writing this blog for them. I am writing this blog for guys like my girlfriend’s husbands, and for guys like my own husband. May it give hope to those who have been burnt that THIS is what you can look forward to!
This is a tribute to the guys who try. The guys who do the work, have done the work, have integrity and speak truth. This is a tribute to men who overcome their fears and CHOOSE to be open, kind, honest and sharing, even though it is the harder thing to do. This is a tribute to the ones who are courageous and don’t hide behind excuses, complacency, fear and attitude. This is a tribute to the ones who get up and choose to do the right thing most of the time; the men who are honest with themselves and honest with others. This goes out to the men who care, who had to learn to show their feelings, even when it felt awkward and weak to them. This is about the man who comes home to his woman by choice, the guy who doesn’t mess around on his wife or girlfriend, the one who doesn’t operate from the grass being greener and spending a vast majority of his time finding faults with the woman he is with, so he can justify his own crap. This is about the guy who does not humiliate his partner by hitting on others in front of his partner and feigning lack of knowledge or awareness. This is to the ones who are aware of themselves and aware of how their actions, words, thoughts and feelings affect the ones they love.
This is a tribute to the guy who chooses to learn and become a better man, instead of sticking his head in the sand, pretending that he is “fine,” silencing his issues to death and thinking that asking another for help means he is less. I am applauding the guy who recognizes that it isn’t always about him, who chooses to share himself, his time and “stuff” with the ones he loves and cares for. This is to the great fathers, uncles, cousins, sons, brothers, boyfriends and husbands. This is to the guy who doesn’t need a trophy by his side to make himself feel better. This is about the man who knows who he is and stands firmly in that, and those who at least strive to get there, should he not be there yet.
This is to the guys who send a great big “F” you to all the players, weak minded boys, who hurt the ones who try to love them and make their partners feel bad for being all the things they are not; for blaming the ones who love them to justify their selfishness and bad behaviors. This is for the men who prove to us that the movies are real,that there is romance, love, integrity, honesty and strength in a man, and that he will be there when we need him and keep his vow of loving us for good or worse, fat and thin, old and young, sickness and health, because he cherishes our heart, values our mind and friendship and respects and loves us the same way he respects and loves himself. This is for the men who always want the best for us and gently nudge us to be just that, without making us feel inferior.
I salute you, great husbands and partners of the world, for not having become what society teaches you to be. For having overcome the role of an asshole that is so easily bestowed on you and for not retreating into your shell because your mother was a bitch, your father didn’t care, you got teased in school, or were otherwise marked by the wrong role models. May all you single women, or gay men be blessed with finding one of the good ones, and may you have the strength to dump, or never settle for one of the posers!
I love you, my husband, for being “one of them!”
Tags: good men
My dear friend … I applaud your love for goodness in men. At times it does seem hard to believe that it is there. I congratulate you on your happiness, and finding the right man. But … aaargh! I’m still out here suffering. The pain of being single for a woman is dealing with all of the wrong men who come along, and also having to take a good hard look at herself and ask herself why she can’t attract the right man. It isn’t easy, not even for someone like me who will gladly admit blame for her shortcomings and be willing to work on it.
In my ‘conscious dating’ group last night we broached the topic of what men and women expect of one another in today’s world. It isn’t what it used to be, for sure. Roles have not so much changed, but shifted. Everyone is confused and it leads to a lot of bad ‘muppet’ moves. Men and women are by divine intention different – we do have something to give one another, and until we can understand and celebrate those differences we can never be satisfied with one another’s actions.
I love it!