When someone asks “who are you,” how often does it happen that you answer with your profession? Somehow we are hard-wired to define who we are by what we do, and society in the Western world supports this greatly. You go to a party or you meet new people and often times, one amongst the first three questions asked is “what do you do (for a living)?”
I used to sneer at this and I used to proudly proclaim that this wouldn’t happen to me, or doesn’t happen to me and here I find it has. I have always worked or gone to school and had no idea how much this made me feel as if I had a purpose. While I was working I would often wonder what my “true” purpose was and yet, the minute I got laid off, I lost pretty much all of my perceived calling in life. What did I have to offer in a society where the first question is always about what I do?
I can’t help but feel like less of a person these days. I see the irony within all of it. I used to wish for a break and vowed to be careful with my loyalty towards corporations, and yet, I somehow failed. I had always told others how corporate America is not loyal to you, but only to the next profit and that they will discard you without a second thought when the profits fall. I had watched how people with seemingly no purpose were being “retained” because they had friends in powerful positions, and others that didn’t have the “salesmen” personality got laid off. I always though that there is a rhyme or reason behind certain decisions and I felt that karma would come back if one conducts oneself with integrity and loyalty.
I am experiencing a whole array of emotions these days. I have worked pretty much non-stop for the past 22 years and have nothing to show for. My house really doesn’t mean a thing in an economy that is hurting the way ours is right now. I find myself in a position I never thought I would be in, which is being on the verge of potentially losing all I have ever worked for. Where many may ask their families for help, I have no one to ask. I have always been a person with perfect credit and sure as hell never took the easy way for anything and find that none of it matters right now.
I look at people who ask what I am doing and can see how they wonder what is wrong with me when I tell them that I got laid off. I no longer try to explain that this is now an employer market and that the idea of doing the right thing is merely that, an idea. I am no longer talking about pride about titles or salaries, but then get the “overqualified” speech when I try to apply for jobs “I could do in my sleep.” I spent years in the same company and now I am a “niche talent.”
I have always been passionate about managing and leading and find that this is the least sought after position from companies. They want sales people and technical talent and throw management of others at them as an afterthought. I am idealistic and passionate and find myself a dinosaur these days, drifting without a purpose and scared that years of doing “the right thing” have nothing to show for. I am in the same boat as many others and for the first time don’t have a solution for my problem.