Archive for June, 2009

Am I What I Do?

Monday, June 15th, 2009

When someone asks “who are you,” how often does it happen that you answer with your profession? Somehow we are hard-wired to define who we are by what we do, and society in the Western world supports this greatly. You go to a party or you meet new people and often times, one amongst the first three questions asked is “what do you do (for a living)?” 

I used to sneer at this and I used to proudly proclaim that this wouldn’t happen to me, or doesn’t happen to me and here I find it has. I have always worked or gone to school and had no idea how much this made me feel as if I had a purpose. While I was working I would often wonder what my “true” purpose was and yet, the minute I got laid off, I lost pretty much all of my perceived calling in life. What did I have to offer in a society where the first question is always about what I do?

I can’t help but feel like less of a person these days. I see the irony within all of it. I used to wish for a break and  vowed to be careful with my loyalty towards corporations, and yet, I somehow failed. I had always told others how corporate America is not loyal to you, but only to the next profit and that they will discard you without a second thought when the profits fall. I had watched how people with seemingly no purpose were being “retained” because they had friends in powerful positions, and others that didn’t have the “salesmen” personality got laid off. I always though that there is a rhyme or reason behind certain decisions and I felt that karma would come back if one conducts oneself with integrity and loyalty.

I am experiencing a whole array of emotions these days. I have worked pretty much non-stop for the past 22 years and have nothing to show for. My house really doesn’t mean a thing in an economy that is hurting the way ours is right now. I find myself in a position I never thought I would be in, which is being on the verge of potentially losing all I have ever worked for. Where many may ask their families for help, I have no one to ask. I have always been a person with perfect credit and sure as hell never took the easy way for anything and find that none of it matters right now.

I look at people who ask what I am doing and can see how they wonder what is wrong with me when I tell them that I got laid off. I no longer try to explain that this is now an employer market and that the idea of doing the right thing is merely that, an idea. I am no longer talking about pride about titles or salaries, but then get the “overqualified” speech when I try to apply for jobs “I could do in my sleep.” I spent years in the same company and now I am a “niche talent.”

I have always been passionate about managing and leading and find that this is the least sought after position from companies. They want sales people and technical talent and throw management of others at them as an afterthought. I am idealistic and passionate and find myself a dinosaur these days, drifting without a purpose and scared that years of doing “the right thing” have nothing to show for. I am in the same boat as many others and for the first time don’t have a solution for my problem.

The System is Down!

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

Ha, it’s so good to be back, I am immediately going to share some more frustrations! This one is about banks and the crazy system here in the US.

About a week ago I called one of my banks, but I shall not say which one it was right now. They used to send me constantly 0%  APR offers for balance transfers and since I had paid down my credit cards quite a bit, I thought I should consolidate the two. I called said bank to find out what their current offers are on balance transfers, because the website seemed vague at best, not giving me any information noteworthy. 

I called the bank and got some guy with a heavy accent that made it almost impossible for me to understand him. I asked him about the current offers and he told me that their current offer is 15.99%!  I asked him to repeat the information and he had to check with his supervisor. So he comes back on the line and repeats the “offer.” I asked why their APR is that high when they usually offer 0% or 2.9%. The answer was mind blowing. He flat out tells me that the high APRs are due to our current economy. Again, I thought my ears had misunderstood and again he had to check with a supervisor before he came back on the line.

I started getting really angry but knew better than to take it out on some poor call center guy. So I asked him “let me get this straight?! So you are telling me that the banks are RAISING the interest rates because our economy is down the drain and people are unemployed left and right??” His answer “Yes, Ma’am.” Well, what does one say to that? I thanked him and hung up, outraged at a system that allows such rip off practices.

Don’t get me wrong! I remember when the wall came down in Germany and thousands of East Germans were offered loans from banks with high credit terms that allowed them to buy Mercedes’ or BMWs and other useless stuff, even though the banks knew that these people would often not be able to pay back the loans. What makes me angry is that banks are allowed to make a profit out of people’s hardships. That there will always be places, institution and people who will draw a profit from a tanked economy or people who are not doing well.

I remember looking at houses for sale recently. Almost half the houses in the magazine were bank-owned. Of course, one could argue some people clearly live over their means, but these are not the ones I am talking about. What about those people who worked hard their entire life and lost their job? Or what about people who got in a car accident, people who were diagnosed with cancer and had to stop working because they spent months in the hospital? Why is there seemingly no protection for people who always did contribute to the system?

And let’s take our 401ks! I spent almost 10 years paying into a 401k that is now down to a mere fraction of what was once in there, even though I did NOT invest aggressively, but quite conservatively. Of course, this didn’t save me from losing more than 50% of my hard earned cash.

People used to say that America is all about ideals and dreams and that people can literally start out washing dishes and become millionaires. This dream boat has long sailed away. The truth is that in our current system only the rich and the strongest survive well. The mom and pop stores are going under, ran into the ground by chains like Wal-Mart, parents who worked hard their entire life need to keep working in order to retire at 70, people cannot afford to be sick or go to an ER and those who have always contributed by paying taxes and working hard are now at times losing their homes.

I do hope that things will turn around but currently I can’t help but think that our system is down.

Hollyweird

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

Maybe I should put this blog under “things that really annoy me,” for that would be equally as fitting. As most people know, I live in the midst of Hollywood. Some people would claim that this is awesome and amazing and all kinds of other things. I, however, find nothing appealing about this place. I am rather amazed at the continuous stream of people one can observe at pretty much any time of day or night. And the type of people one sees wandering about is also at times scary. But, I shouldn’t pass any judgment on that, there are probably plenty of people out there who’d claim that I look freakish too.

The thing that does annoy me the most though, are the prices in stores. I frequently go grocery shopping at the Pavilions on Melrose and Vine, since this is only a couple blocks away. You would NOT believe how outrageously expensive this store is! I recently was looking for almonds and found a bag of raw almonds priced at $7.99! Yes, you saw that right, raw almonds, namely a small snack bag was almost eight dollars.

Every time I go shopping I am seething at the prices. I can honestly claim that I literally spend almost twice as much in this store, as in the stores on “my side of town.” Hence, I decided to do a little comparison yesterday. Since I had to go to my house in Azusa, I decided to also do the shopping over there. Low and behold, I came out of Albertson’s spending a mere $75 to fill the entire refrigerator, including two steaks from grass fed beef, all kinds of fresh produce like avocados, carrots, tomatoes, lettuce mix, grapes, bananas, drinks, cheese, lunch meat, milk, organic eggs, yogurt and a few other items. 

It makes me angry that stores like Pavilions charge double the pr ices and trick you into thinking that you are saving with the club card. I do have a club card and found that there is often fine print attached such as “must buy at least 5 to get discounts.” I am still outraged over the 8 Dollar bag of almonds. I miss my “cheap” little stores and I haven’t found a Trader Joe’s yet, although people told me there is one not to far from here, I think on La Brea.

Meanwhile, it is sad that people fall for this scam. I assume it’s convenience. Why drive a few blocks further and spend less money, when you can go to the one around the corner and get ripped off? Ach!

I am back!

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

null Sadly, WordPress was NOT my friend, and neither was Yahoo. Hence, my blog “died” and I lost all previous entries and posts. Good times! This simply means that I have to start blogging again :-)

As we know, I have plenty to say and I have plenty opinions I feel need to be shared with “the world.” You may have to sign up all over again. I think I’ve lost all my subscribers and definitely my database of all blog entries.

Well, I DO think that it was time for a new beginning and that maybe some of my “old stuff” needed to be discarded. This also means that I do get to ponder strange bathroom behaviors and other bizarre events all over again :-D