Yesterday I saw this article on Yahoo’s homepage about what not to wear to the office, if you are a woman and want to get promoted. Again, the “Obvious Police” struck, telling us things that none of us knew…NOT!
Sometimes I am not sure if one should laugh about these tips and tricks or simply be insulted! Then I wonder why I don’t get paid to state the obvious. Ask any of my friends, apparently I am excellent at it 
So, here are the things one should NOT wear to work if one expects a promotion:
1. Shirts with too much cleavage, also known as shirts where your boobs hang out
2. Shirts or pants that reveal your bra line, pantie line, or are see through, so one can see the bra or pantie
3. Mini skirts that are way too short, or for those who don’t get it, skirts that end right under your ass
4. Beach attire, i.e. spaghetti strap tops and gladiator sandals, or worse, flip flops!
5. Clothes that are too sexy, or club clothing, period
Who knew!? Who would have thought that one will not be taken serious, or let alone promoted when one shows up looking like a teenager or slut? I am desperately trying to find a better word than slut, alas, I can’t think of one.
Now, I can’t be a hypocrite here and have to seriously admit that I have been guilty of ignoring business attire rules most of life. No, I haven’t crossed the lines of showing off my bra, underwear, boobs or ass, even when I did have the body to do so, and no, I have definitely NEVER worn flip flops. As we know, I have a huge aversion to flip flops and Crocs. I also found that there are some other common rules that were missing from this list, so I am going to add them here for your convenience. Of course, these are my own:
1. I don’t see anything wrong with wearing open toed shoes, especially not in a casual environment. BUT, if you DO insist on wearing those, at least make sure you have nice looking feet. I do not want to see chipped off toe nail polish, or otherwise scary looking feet peaking at me from sandals or open toed shoes, period. As we know, I also have a strange aversion to feet, especially male feet. Which brings me to rule number 2.
2. Men NEVER get to wear sandals or flip flops to the office….EVER! Especially not when being paired with a button up shirt and slacks or designer jeans!
3. Crocs are forbidden for all, male or female. If I see you with garden clogs, I will either make fun of you, or beat you up.
4. Leggings are out! Leggings under miniskirts or shorts are also out, even if you do have a decent body.
5. Khakis or Dockers – unless you want a permanent douche bag stamp from me.
Look, I honestly don’t really care what people are wearing to work. I have always paid more attention to personality, intellect, capabilities, experience and character and I have never been dazzled by a fancy suit. However, I am also very, very aware that this is NOT how the vast majority of business executives are seeing things. I made the decision years ago that I would not sell out. Meaning, I would not wear things that were uncomfortable and a blatant violation of my being, just so I could get that title or promotion. It was a decision I made for myself and I sure as hell don’t expect others to make the same decision.
The truth is that looks DO matter! What we wear and how we present ourselves does have a fairly big impact on others and there are common rules even I don’t break. For me these rules are obvious, such as not flashing my body parts at work, or wearing things that are so flashy that they barely qualify for club clothing. I am also aware that my idea of cool is not necessarily an executive’s idea of cool. Yes, there are certain areas in which one can dress in creative, casual ways and one’s progress is not hindered. Gaming is one of them, Internet companies, such as Yahoo, another. But even within those worlds are rules, such as dressing the part when one meets with vendors/clients, or represents the company at a conference, meeting or otherwise.
Why these obvious ways of being, or ways to conduct oneself are not clear to everyone is beyond me. I find it sad that certain things need to be explained or said out loud. Apparently not everyone has common sense. But unfortunately how we appear leaves an impression. I am saying “unfortunately” because there are entire studies done on how “pretty” or “good-looking” people get further in life. On how a thin person is viewed as “more capable” than an overweight person. While I do NOT even remotely buy into crap like that, it is clear that those of us who do not look “conventional” will have to make a decision sooner or later about just how far we are willing to stay true to our “freakishness.” And if we choose to do it all the way, then we cannot be too shocked if we don’t end up at the director, VP, or senior VP level of a company.
The vast majority of corporate America is still ruled by the khaki sporting overlords. And fighting that won’t do you any good. But a bit of common sense and a bit of compromise DOES get you pretty far. If you ask me, it gets you far enough 
Yes, this is another “popular” topic that will earn me the “ultimate bitch” award. It’s just that I honestly don’t care these days what people are thinking about me. Thank god for having a happy life, that allows me to freely voice my opinion, without worries about whom I might piss of 
