I Say What Most People Don’t Say Out Loud!
The things I see in Hollywood every day. Usually I am sad that I don’t have a camera, but then I remember that my CrackBerry takes awesome pictures! So, here is one I see every morning when I go to work, and every morning it cracks me up. One huge “Pet Supplies” sign above one huge trash dumpster!
Why is this sign located over a large dumpster?
My husband thought it would be a great idea if I’d add this category to my blog and add a new “Carmenism” each day, or as they happen.
Apparently, the English language and I are not always friends and I sometimes mix words or letter in words. I also have a strange fascination with certain English words and phrases I hear, and love to use them often and at times out of context. Below are some of the latest and most known ones I have used over the years. Unfortunately I am neither drunk, nor high when these things leave my mouth:
1. Acopolypse – I meant to tell Andrew that we should throw pies at the zombies (don’t ask!) when the apocalypse strikes. What I said was “we should just throw pies at zombies when the acopolypse strikes.” I was not drunk or high!
2. “I like the coffee from “Coffee Teen and Bee Leaf” better than Starbucks”
3. “Wow, this one really excells in the skill of complete douchebaggery.”
4. “My head asplode”
5. “I just had a douche.” What I meant to say was “I just had a shower” The German word for shower is “dusche”
6. “HELP! MY RUBBER EXPLODED!” What I meant to say was “Help, my rubber band broke.” I yelled it through the entire office.
7. “I am very observatory.” It took a while to learn that the real word here should be “observant.”
8. “Stupid Muppet!” or “you really shine with your muppetry.” (ah, my favorite! Learned it in Ireland)
9. “If it is “mouse” and “mice,” it also should be “spouse” and “spice!”
10. “I am so boring!” I meant to say “bored.”
11. I proudly proclaimed on my Facebook yesterday “Decluddering with my husband.” I meant to say we are getting rid of clutter.
If you know me and remember “Carmenisms,” you may add them to the list 
Alright, I have been accused of this time and time again, and I am doing my very best to learn. The accusation has been that everything to me is black and white and that I am not seeing that sometimes there are gray areas.
I might as well own up to this and admit that I tend to be rigid and that most things to me are, in fact, black or white. I do acknowledge that there is a gray area that needs to be investigated in certain situations. But I do believe that some things in this universe are either black or white. Now, I am not insisting that this is so, hence, if I am wrong, or overseeing something, please do chime in and enlighten me. I am very willing to learn and eager to find out what part of the puzzle I might be missing.
I have always felt that there is no gray area when one is wronging another. So, please do let me know if this statement is incorrect and let me give examples of what I mean.
1. If I cheat on my husband, it’s a black and white thing for me. It’s wrong, because I cheated. One can now examine why people cheat and yet, I will argue that if I took the route of cheating, I wronged my partner.
2. Stealing is wrong. Don’t tell me now you are starving and steal a loaf of bread, because that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about stealing to enrich oneself, or to test and see if one can get away with it. Again, no gray here for me.
3. Hitting or beating another. Let me clarify before we start talking about POWs and other extreme cases. I am talking about hitting or beating your friend, spouse, partner, family member, etc. I happen to think that there is NEVER a need to hit or beat another. And no, spanking my kid on the butt is not what I mean either. The words I chose are “hitting” and “beating!”
I don’t want to continue a list now but I am trying to figure out when I am being rigid/self-righteous, or whatever I have been called before, and when I am not off my rocker in stating that certain things in life are black and white. Yes, I also understand that apparently for others they are not. I understand that what I call rudimentary is not so rudimentary for others. So please do enlighten me, are there black and white “wrongs” that qualify a person as an irrevocable douche, or is any action one takes redeemable.
I am eager to learn the error of my ways
Here is another great saying that usually just serves as an excuse for lousy character and behavior. Not only have I heard other people say stuff like that a million times before, but I as well, have used the same excuse for others in the past.
Let’s examine this statement closer: “He/She is a good person at the core!” Somehow that sounds to me as if I am saying “well, he/she is a real douche on the OUTSIDE but on the INSIDE they are really good.” Somehow I must have gotten it all wrong, for I always thought that actions, thoughts, behaviors, emotions and spoken word defined one as a good person. I was not aware that some poor, unlucky bastards are merely pretending to be selfish, cruel or abusive, when they are just misunderstood and a total jewel on the inside. <– insert loser “L” on forehead here!
I have news (here I point out the obvious again!)! We all start out good at the core. Sometimes our core gets corrupted and it’s not always by what has been done to us, but by what we do. If I was abused or treated poorly, I can still choose to not be the same way. I can choose to not do drugs that alter my core (like meth/speed), I can choose to not abuse others, to not be an opportunist, be violent, cruel or mean. If we act in these “dark” ways, we will corrupt even the best core in time with our own choices! This is where it comes in handy to be mindful and self-aware, and this is where it comes in handy to surround oneself with those who keep us honest. Oh, and of course, this is where it is on us to choose right from wrong.
I talked to one of my best friends today who pointed out that I have unusually high values. I am not sure that was a compliment, even though she meant it as such. I honestly don’t think I have unusually high values. Geez, I am no Dalai Lama, I am impatient, abrasive and flat out rude at times with my big mouth but yes, I have values. I do believe in a common decency, respect for others and self, honesty and integrity. If I violate these rules, I have the obligation to own up to my crap and apologize, and if fixable, to fix it. I am not allowed (at least not for long) to point fingers at others and feign ignorance for having been a bitch.
That is how I tend to separate the good core from the bad apple. The good core truly is good and makes amends. The good core lives by a certain code of ethics and values that the bad apples merely imitate. So, forgive me if I stand aside and puke if I hear again what a good core a person has who wanders about bashing people’s hearts and heads in. And yes, this is for one of my bestest friends in the world, who was hurt by a total douche who claims to be a good person at the core!
Isn’t it wonderful that none of us have to be responsible or accountable for any of our actions? No, we have plenty of sources that tell us exactly what to do, how to act, what to believe and allow us to abandon all common sense for good. What a beautiful world where no one has to think for themselves, because the Good Book tells you what makes you good or bad, and the obvious police let’s you know how to behave in every day scenarios. *sigh*
Today’s article I found on Yahoo’s homepage was “The lies that could get you fired at work.” The article then told us why it isn’t a good idea to call in sick and show up with a brand new manicure or pedicure! DUH!!!! Seriously, people?! Is there anyone out there who needs to be told the obvious? The other piece of great advice was “do not call in sick right before every holiday, or right the day after!” Again, I was dumbfounded.
I have been a manager for many years and I have given warnings to those who blatantly abused the system. I have had employees who would notoriously be sick on Mondays, Fridays, or one day prior/after a holiday, while being perfectly healthy during the week. I had others who knew exactly how often they’d been sick and as soon as one occurence would drop of the calendar, they’d call in for the next one. “Technically” they hadn’t violated any rules, but that didn’t stop me from telling them that I was paying attention and knew exactly what they were up to. Oddly enough, the sick occurences would suddenly become less. I would not write people up for it, as I said, it becomes tricky to write those up who play by the rules, but when it came to performance review time, I would withhold bonus money and I sure as hell would not recommend them for promotions or help them get ahead. That privilige I would reserve for the hard-workers who were always there and didn’t game the system.
I am shaking my head yet again that people really think that others are that stupid. I am going to add other another great example here as well: Don’t give excuses for not meeting minimum expectations, and then post a blog on MySpace entitled “Bored at Work,” when your boss is on your friends list. Sadly this is not a joke. I’ve had people who had me (their boss) as their friend on their Livejournals, MySpace or Facebook and thought that I would NOT notice the constant postings from work. Maybe they thought that just because we are friends it would keep me from doing my job and reprimanding them for their behavior.
Come to think of it, these articles may not be written for those who really are stupid enough to pull behaviors like that in the first place, and expect that their bosses/peers are too stupid to notice. And yes, peers will tell on others, usually because they are tired of pulling the weight for a slacker, or someone who abuses the system. That includes those who constantly call in sick.
It seems that common sense and common decency have left the planet quite a while ago, and what makes it worse is that those who abuse the systems are usually the victims, or think that others are not smart enough to figure them out. They also tend to be the first ones to complain for not getting promotions or raises and shine with an outstanding sense of entitlement most of us normal mortals can not even begin to comprehend.
But, talking about Muppets who go about screaming bloody murder for an injustice done to them, when usually they are the ones who should be very quiet, is another story and one I could go on for another few pages…as we know 
I read an article on Yahoo a couple days ago about new techniques from employers to judge candiates before an interview. Apparently there are all kinds of interesting ways for an employer to pre-screen, including sending a secretary down to take a look inside the person’s car, or observing what kind of magazine a person reads in the waiting room, how they behave in the waiting room and even how they eat. One recruiter, for example, would order food for candidates, just so she could observe how a person eats. Apparently cutting all your meat at once, instead of each bite at a time, gets you immediately removed from the candidate pool.
Now, I bet that most people expect me to rant and rave about the injustice of such unfair selection processes, but with this one I actually agree to a certain degree.
I, too, screen people by these criteria, although, I wouldn’t exclude a person from my hiring pool for them. For me talent, attitude and overall behavior are still the determining factors when hiring, not how someone cuts their meat. However, on a personal level I DO make assumptions about a person’s cleanliness, etc. based on how the interior of their car looks like. There is a lot to be said about people who keep the inside of their cars clean and organized (says the Virgo), and even more about how a person lives, especially how they keep their kitchens and bathrooms!
I also found that there are quite a few other ways, in my opinion, to judge who a person is. For one, I do like a person who eats with a certain grace. I am definitely not one of these people at times. I am used to wolfing down lunches at my desk and often waiting way too long until I eat; so by the time I start eating I am so starved that I am just devouring my food, versus actually enjoying it. My husband, on the other hand, eats slow and deliberate. I actually like watching him because he always makes eating look like such a sophisticated thing. It was something I noticed about him from day one and something that definitely influenced my opinion about him and how much class he has.
Then I judge people by how they play/what type of gamers they are. I am a gamer and have been for years. As we know, I play MMORPGs and also like the occasional board game, or something mindless like Vampire Wars on Facebook. However, even when I am gaming I adhere to a certain basic rules of conduct. For me the rules are simple, such as not killing a low level, just because I can, even though I know that he has no chance of beating me. I don’t insult people, I play by the rules and I don’t forget that this is a game, not real life. I don’t forget my friends or loved ones over gaming and I don’t insult people in the game. BUT…there are quite a few people who DO!
I have noticed that when it comes to gaming you see the true nature of how competitive someone is, how fair they may be in real life, what kind of “ethics” they are sporting and if they are a sore loser for example. While I get all wound up when someone kills me in the game for no reason, I do remind myself that this is a game, shrug my shoulders and wander off doing something else.
I remember years ago, when I played Diablo II, the game was taken over by hackers, who would write programs that would allow them to kill you without ever fighting you. I got so tired of the cheating hacker douches that I stopped playing the game and never touched it again. I always wondered what kind of jerk had to be behind such a thing and figured it was probably some geeky kid who had no friends and couldn’t get laid if their life depended on it.
In a weird way it makes perfect sense to me to judge people based on how they act in their so called “personal” life. A slob tends to be a slob no matter where, which often comes out on the job by them being unorganized or sometimes even lazy. The equation is simple, if you have no pride in your personal belongings, how would you have pride into something that isn’t yours?
No, I am NOT talking about superficial things like a person’s haircut or color, tattoos or piercings! I am talking about behaviors. When pepole go for an interview they are usually on their best behavior, just like a person who is going on a date. To have a chance and observe them in their “real” setting can sometimes tell a totally different story of who they are and how they will conduct themselves. And while many people claim to have a work personality and a home personality, I have found that this is not necessarily true.
I tell you this much, some of the jerks I encounter when gaming would definitely NOT be hired by me, neither a friend who is always late to everything, as they have a tendency to not make to work on time either.
So, for the game jerks and douches out there: “You better watch out, because you never know whom you are being a jerk to. And the one you so proudly killed over and over again might be someone who interviews you for a job one day!”
Don’t you just love the age of technology? We are no longer required to be “real” and we don’t need to maintain friendships. Facebook, MySpace and Livejournal, amongst other “networking” sites make sure of that. We can remain anonymous, post pictures that are ancient and in which we were still hot, and post status updates instead of calling our friends or hanging out with them.
We don’t need to offer an opinion, we don’t need to ever say anything and be silent bystanders, voyeurs or “spies” with friends, exes and people we are interested in. Don’t you just love technology?
Well, I found out yesterday that technology apparently can also make us feel guilty and even insult. Video game consoles are no more a mere tool of entertainment and fun, no, they now also tell us when we suck. And they can do it with the blunt, cold-hearted precision of a machine. Yes, my Wii Fit told me last night I am overweight. This is not a shocker, but when you step on the damn balance board and hear a sound like “awwwwww” you feel a bit embarrassed. When you are then told that “balance is obviously not your forte” and find out that your Wii age is 53 years old, calculated by weight, BMI, height and actual age, you just wanna weep a little and hide.
Well, I started a diet on Monday and haven’t had any bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, or other sugar/carb containing items. Apparently happiness makes me fat and I have gained about 10 lbs since I have been with Andrew. Now the machine confirmed that I am fat, so off I go to please the computer, well, and myself. Technology sucks and so does getting old.
Since all my old posts disappeared when my database crashed, I am posting one of my favorite German songs again. It also happens to have one of the coolest videos, namely from the movie “Immortal.”
