On Friday night I went to my evaluation at the gym with my new personal trainer. This time I chose a male trainer. Somehow it makes things even more embarrassing when one is getting measured, weighted and evaluated by a guy. I don’t think I have felt this uncomfortable in a long time.
Turns out, (surprise, my hypnotherapist has been drilling this one into me for over a month) that I don’t eat enough! Yes, the reason for rapid weight gain is that my metabolism is down to a crawl and holds on to every single calorie because I don’t eat enough. I am now supposed to set my alarm so I can eat every two hours. I usually forget to eat, or become too busy and won’t eat for 7 or 8 hours in between meals. For example, Thursday I got so busy I didn’t have lunch until 5 pm. On Friday I had lunch at 3 but then didn’t have time to eat until 10 pm. He told me I need to start speeding up my metabolism by eating in regular intervals and before I am starving, so I can plan out my meals instead of quickly grab soup for example. He told me that soup is too high in sodium, and what does sodium do, it retains water!
I am also part of an online program thing. I have to log everything I eat and I have to start doing half hour of cardio whenever I can. We own an elliptical machine, which I have never used. Andrew used to water and snow ski. He is coordinated. I have never been on skis, hence, I don’t know how to use the arms and legs at the same time. And because I feel self-conscious, namely that I will fall off, or look stupid, I won’t even try. Trainer said it’s easy, he’ll show it and that’s the one he wants me to do. Ack!
The overall evaluation experience was very encouraging. Yep, I feel like running away or crawling out of my skin when I set foot in a gym, but I’ll overcome it. He told me he can have me in shape and “thin” in three months, if I follow his instructions. *sigh*
Yesterday we had friends over and I wanted to smoke or have a few drinks. But all I could think of was feeling like shit when I smoke and how many calories each drink has. So I had a couple small drinks and drank my decaf, diet green tea. For some reason I am very excited, even though I feel uncomfortable. All I can think of is “THREE months! THREE months. I can do this. I can get my butt in gear for 12 weeks!”
I have to go and eat now. Apparently one has to eat within the first hour of getting up. I have been up an hour now. This is a huge difference in my being, I tell ya that. Alas, 40 is the age where I will clean up all parts of my being. Ack, my head asplode.
