I did it! I survived the first week of “getting fit” hell. I log everything I eat and I am wearing my “Bodybugg,” which calculates calories burned, steps taken and activity levels. Turns out, I am actually burning more than I am consuming!
My muscles are so sore that I could barely move yesterday. It was as if I had been through the wringer. Every time I had to get up, bend over, walk up the stairs or reach for anything I cringed in pain. The odd thing is, I like it!
I mean, I don’t like the pain and I sure as hell don’t like working out so hard, but I have noticed an interesting thing when I do work with my trainer. When he has me do anything in front of a mirror, it is almost as if I see myself for the first time. I squint, the way you do when you are looking at something which is out of focus, and then think “whoa! What the hell happened? This isn’t you!”
The odd thing is that what my eyes see and what my mind sees are very different. My mind sees the healthy and slim me, my eyes see the reality. But the good thing is that my body strives very hard to match what it knows in its mind and spirit to be true. And there we have it again! The power of mind!
I have studied various “paths” and got very interested in quantum physics. Don’t get me started on the movie “What the Bleep do we know.” My husband hates this movie and things it’s the worst thing ever written, lol. But the gist of it all matches what I took so many years to study. Your conscious mind creates reality 100% based on what your subconscious mind dictates. Hence, positive thinking doesn’t work, as it only overwrites a whole bunch of negative thinking, which lies underneath it all and represents your core beliefs. This is why I am such a strong believer in hypnotherapy.
From the very first session I had with Kimberly, my hypnotherapist, I saw a very different me. I was sitting on a beach. I was dressed in white (everyone who knows me is aware that I don’t own a single piece of white clothing!), my hair was in a short, pixie haircut, all dyed black, I had my knees drawn in, my arms contently wrapped around them and stared at the water. My body was one I have NEVER had. Not even at the peak of my workout sessions. Yes, I was close when I did kickboxing and competitive Hapkido, but this body was that of a dancer. My body did not have fat. My stomach had skin folds, not fat rolls. My arm and leg muscles were long, like the ones a dancer, yoga person or pilates trainer has. I was looking at the sea feeling truly at peace with myself and the world. I looked at my tattoos, Horus on the left, Anubis to the right and smiled. When I got up, I was barefoot, strolling over to a group of children, watching them play ball. I was holding an apple.
This sounds crazy to all those who never studied magick, or never learned how to meditate. But to those who did, they will see what I am trying to say here. The truth is that it is this very image I have not been able to shake. As I said earlier, your mind will do anything in its power to match the images or messages you have programmed into your subconscious. Hence, my whole being truly strives for the image burned into my subconscious.
Yesterday I went to the hairdresser. Because I work out so much now and wash my hair every day, I decided to get rid of the secondary color and dye my hair all black again. I got it trimmed from a new hairstylist, as mine was not available. I walked out of the salon, came home and looked at the mirror, grinning. I have a solid black, pixie hair cut. It does not look like the picture I gave the stylist, but it looks 100% like the picture I saw in my mind’s eye, when sitting on the beach, in a not so different future. And so it all begins, right? 
