Ah, how I love this meaningless phrase of weakness. I think the correct statement should be “I am making excuses and let them appear as if I am actually doing something.”
I have not met too many people who have succeeded trying. Let’s examine a few examples:
“I am trying to lose weight.” – Really? So how exactly are you trying? Either you eat less/different and work out, or you don’t. That is doing and these actions will have results. Sitting on one’s butt while shoving down another ice cream bar and watching TV is not going to get you anywhere.
“I am trying to have better relationships.” – How is this accomplished? Are you self-aware of your actions and words? Are you taking responsibility for your crap, or are you blaming others/pretending you are just fine? Think about what the results will be if you continue more of the same. Actively work on your attitude, your reactions to things, your mind and your perception, or don’t. But don’t claim you are trying.
“I am trying to find another job.” – How? Are you looking or not? Are you networking, talking to people, or do you expect your new employer to knock on your door without any action from you? Newsflash, it won’t happen!
Trying always implies an act of passive non-responsibility. It always implies being powerless and not having to actively do or change anything. This is why people who try usually fail. It is really like Yoda said in Star Wars “Do or don’t. There is no try.”
I have to admit that I generally try to avoid people who keep telling me that they are trying. I have my own experiences with trying and I tell you, when I said I was trying it pretty much always translated in to not doing a damn thing and finding excuses for continuing to not do anything. When I told people I was trying, it was a weak ass attempt to say that I think I want to change something, but don’t really want to put the time and effort in. When others told me they were trying it almost always meant that they are really not committed to any action at all, but are trying to shut me up, or to shut their own inner voice of reason or conscience up. Either way, results were generally not achieved.
All I am saying is to make up your mind. If you don’t really want to lose weight, want to find another job, change who you are, well, then don’t. But it would be much more authentic if you’d admitted to that versus lying to yourself and those around you by saying that you are trying. Trying is passive, doing is active. Hence, decide what you truly want, stand by that and go for it. How do we break any cycle? By being honest with ourselves and others. The rest is just…trying, and that is for sissies.
