02.25.10
Posted in Life, Spirituality/Philosophy at 11:21 am by PsychicDonut
I believe in a soul and a concept of a higher self. I recently had a discussion with a friend who said that his concept of a soul is an entity outside one’s being, but yet energetically connected. Depending on who and what surrounds us, we’ll either add or take away from this soul.
Come to think of it, this belief is very much like my own. Except that I would call it corruption of one’s soul, until there is very little left of a higher consciousness, or any type of peace, harmony or higher self.
Oddly enough, on the same day I had a conversation with another friend, who was telling me how hurt and hung up she was on an ex and how hard it was for her to let go. She felt angry and told me that when people don’t forgive her, it makes her feel like a failure. I can relate to that so well. I have gone through crazy lengths to convince people of my “goodness.”
As she was telling me about how crappy she felt. I told her that I had a theory, or something I had noticed about myself. Most of my anger and bitterness that I would spill into some of my blogs, all stemmed from people who had wronged and hurt me in the past. It wasn’t that I couldn’t get over/not forget the experience, but what made me so angry, furious and bitter, was how their blatant selfishness, mean spirit, lashing out, using me, lying to me, and utter refusal to be accountable, or even as much as apologize to me, etc. had taken away from my soul.
I remembered being one of the most bright eyed, spiritual and to a degree innocent people I knew. I had such a strong belief in the good of people, some form of higher power that was surrounding me at all times, a desire to truly walk in light and help that it never even dawned on me that some simply don’t care, won’t care, can’t care. Sometimes people would make fun of that and call me naive. But the more I ran into selfish people who claimed to care, but only did what served them, and either weakly, or strongly defending their ways, the less I believed that people were either worth saving, nor trusting. The more years went by being surrounded by weak-willed, broken people, the less I believed that anything is possible.
When one spends years with the nay-sayers who whine and “prove” that you truly are powerless, you start believing it. This is what makes these people so toxic. Just like a virus, they infect those around them. Void of hope, light or anything worthwhile to share, they suck away the energy of those who have or had it, until they become just like them. Hence, again! Look at those who are broken and see who surrounds them. Won’t be too many sane, successful and evolved people (no, I am not talking about monetary success, I have met even psychopaths who can create wealth!).
The part that sucks about having had your soul “partially eaten” is that it takes such a long time to regain the qualities you have lost. I guess for some it is impossible, and for others it is just a constant struggle, that requires a lot of self-awareness and the willingness to stop one’s own crazy behavior. It also helps to have role models!
I am lucky in that matter. I have looked around and found some amazingly inspiring people, who not just encouraged me, but inspired me to follow suit. My soul has been doing a nice healing job. I have released most toxic influences, and I no longer differentiate between those who are willingly toxic and those who claim they don’t know/it’s not their fault.
It is hard, very hard. There are times when I am utterly amazed at how loving my husband would react to certain displays of paranoia, driven by a severely broken heart and trust in anyone.
Now I have courage to do things I have NEVER done before. It is a little like remembering a past life. You kind of “wake up” and think “oh yeah, THIS is who I am supposed to be, this is who I was before.” Then, slowly but surely, you create the life that mirrors this understanding and feeling from within. When “bad” comes up you’ll diffuse it and counter it with “good.” Working out does wonders!
The miracle though is how your life aligns itself with a vision you may have had a long time ago. I think this is my true understanding of what Crowley called “doing one’s will.” And from this point on, everything almost magically falls into place. And you scratch yourself on the head and wonder “WOW! And even if it is merely my brain producing these states of bliss and well-being, I CHOOSE to believe that there is something else out there. Something I may not be able to explain, but whatever “it” is sure as hell not only heard me, but is constructing what I never, ever thought possible, and dared not believe. I am living my dream. And while I have a great love and compassion for people, I no longer care if they are doing the same. I am focusing, yet again on helping the ones that are at least partially awake, instead of trying to wake up the sleepers.”
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02.17.10
Posted in Human Behavior at 2:34 pm by PsychicDonut
Today I received this lovely piece of spam. As usual, do NOT click on the link (unless you want a pretty key-logger installed on your system that steals all your personal data).
Again, never, never, never click on links that seem to come from your financial institution! Always go directly to the URL for your bank and inquire about any supposed emails. Remember that any legitimate business or bank will never ask for your password and will definitely not threaten to close an account, unless you provide personal information to an inserted email.
Then there is the obvious, which may not be so obvious to some, NO legitimate business will have a free gmail, yahoo, hotmail, msn, ymail, live or rocketmail, etc. account and give you a ridiculous email like chasebankservices@yahoo.com.
Another good indicator, most of these phishing attempts are not actual emails, but images, such as the one below.
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02.11.10
Posted in Life, Spirituality/Philosophy, Things that make me happy at 5:23 pm by PsychicDonut
I truly am an idealist. I believe in “good,” and try to see the best in all people. I believe that every person has infinite possibility to create happiness and think that most people are reasonably intelligent to grasp the concept about sticking one’s finger in the power outlet over and over, will only result in getting shocked over and over. It honestly never really dawned on me that some people may not be all that bright, or that some people find a great deal of comfort in being miserable. It didn’t occur to me that some people always need attention, even if it is bad one and that some have traveled so far down the rabbit hole of denial that their idea of reality is totally and utterly distorted. I therefore used to think that certain people do certain things on purpose.
Gosh, I would get so angry and wanted to shake people while screaming “are you dense? Do you NOT see how crazy you are? Look at your life and walk back the past ten years and tell me you do NOT notice how you keep creating more of the same, day in and day out.” In a way, I would do just that at times. See, I was used to this type of behavior from being born and raised in Germany. When I screwed up my friends would hold me accountable. There were dire consequences to my behaviors, which taught me early on (when I was a teenager) that people would not tolerate constant lame excuses coming from me. In a way, my friends in Germany did anything BUT look the other way!
Another one that was very different for me in Germany was the level of loyalty. Your friends were your friends. They stuck by you through thick and through thin. They’d be brutally honest with you and if anyone hurt you, they’d go after them, or at least cast them out. Yes, the most dreaded trait I have been accused of was normal at home, we were black and white in certain areas. I didn’t have to explain myself all the time, I wasn’t seen as abrasive, but strong and loyal and I was not used to anyone sugar coating things to me, or me having to sugar coat for others.
For example, after returning to Germany for the first time after 8 years, I stepped off the plane and was greeted with “Damn, you’ve gotten fat. You need to lay off the cheeseburgers those Yanks are feeding you.” At the same token, when I came back a few years later I was told how much I have slimmed down and how good I look for my age.
I never really had to read between the lines and I sure as hell never met as many delusional folks in Germany, as I did in Los Angeles. No offense! I know lots of amazing people here too and can honestly say that they outweigh the crazy ones in my life!!
There is a certain social dance here I couldn’t quite grasp. After 17 years it is easier for me to navigate through the landmines within conversations here, but it never did feel natural. There is still a stubborn part in me that refuses to play the game, unless I absolutely have to. I felt a need to be honest at all cost. I also felt that withholding, or being quiet was being dishonest. Hence, I randomly spilled out any and every thought and emotion that would come to mind, thinking that people would get the gist, because they know me. I also felt that they would be just as thankful for someone calling them on their stuff as I was. NOT SO!
The beauty of life these days is that I have created a life that is happy and balanced. And within this life an amazing thing has happened, my priorities are finally getting aligned correctly. I am finally learning to open my mouth where I need to and should have a long time ago and where to keep it shut where I need to and should have in the past. I am learning that I don’t have to care about Joe Schmoe and Sue Schmue doing the same idiotic dance again that they have been doing for their entire life. I don’t find myself all that affected by how dishonest, weak willed, cowardly or ignorant people are, because I can choose to not have such folks in my life.
I am learning that just because someone has done a nice thing for me in the past, or has been there for me on occasion, does not mean that I owe them for the rest of my life. I know that I have paid my dues; to them and everyone else for that matter who needed a friend, a shoulder to cry on or anything else. I have learned that I deserve peace and harmony, not chaos and drama. I have learned that life is precious and goes by at the blink of an eye. I therefore have an obligation to myself to make the best of it.
I still uphold truth, honesty, loyalty and integrity as the most important traits in one’s being. I just don’t expect the rest of the world to have the same values anymore and actually make a conscious effort to stay clear of those who do not. Truth is in the eye of the beholder? I think not. There is universal truth and I am actively seeking those who walk on the same, or at least similar paths. It’s amazing how quiet and peaceful life becomes when one does just that.
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02.10.10
Posted in Human Behavior at 11:34 am by PsychicDonut
No, you did NOT win the lottery and while this one is almost humorous in its horrific English, there are people out there who would potentially believe this to be real, simply by how it looks (this specific scam had a bunch of UPS logos on the top)
UPS West London Centre353 Regis Road, Kentish RoadLondon, NW5 3UP.Email: upsdp-delivry@live.com
Good day to you. We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Confirmable Package that is registered with us for shipping of your Package to Your residential location. This is to inform you that we are in possession of your Parcel which includes a certified cheque worth of £250,000.00 and other vital documents that we facilitate the clearance of the cheque in your country. Be rest assured that, your cheque has been confirmed valid and true and delivery will be made once you have met the necessary requirements.
Note: That as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your information’s, it will take only two working days (48 hours) for your package to arrive it designated destination.
This is mandatory, kindly complete the below form to reconfirm your Postal information:
FULL NAMES: ………………………………………………….
TELEPHONE: …………………………………………………..
ADDRESS: …………………………………………………………
POSTAL: ……………………………………………………………
OCCUPATION: ………………………………………………….
STATE: ………………………………………………………………
COUNTRY: ………………………………………………………..
For your information, the Mail, VAT & Shipping fees have been paid by the Lottery Award Promo Board before your package was registered. What you need to pay is the Security keeping fee of the UPS Company as stated in our privacy terms & condition page, in order to secure your Package. The cost for the Security keeping fee is £185 GBP. Simply contact our UPS DELIVERY MANAGER Mr. Jerry Morgan, at Email: upsdp-delivry@live.com
Tel: +(44) 70240-12535
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02.04.10
Posted in Spirituality/Philosophy, Things that make me happy at 3:36 pm by PsychicDonut
In management I learned one of the most important management tools, which said that you should always strive to manage to a person’s strength, instead of focusing on their weaknesses. When people are in an environment where 75% of the time they get to do what they like and what they are good at, you end up with really productive teams and very happy people.
I have found that everything I have learned in management also applies for one’s personal life. However, this doesn’t seem as blatantly obvious to others as it is for me. I figured that there are things I can share that may explain a little better what I mean by the importance of being specific and clear.
Let’s say for a moment you are at work and you are scheduled for your quarterly review. Let’s assume you are scored on your communication skills, and you have received an average mark. When you ask your manager/supervisor why you received an average instead of outstanding score, your manager tells you something like “well, I remember an incident a couple months ago where in a meeting you said something offensive.” How are you going to learn from this? One of the first things one learns in management is to be specific and to coach as soon as the opportunity arises, and as soon as the incident is not yet forgotten. Communication in this area should always be very specific, namely what the “mistake” was and how you expect a person to fix it/conduct themselves in the future, etc.
Now transfer that philosophy to life. Let’s assume you are NOT an atheist who only believes in science. Regardless of what your faith is, I do believe that each action has a reaction. Each one of our behaviors, words, actions, emotions and thoughts create some kind of energy that surrounds us. If we are sending negative energy, we receive negative energy. If we are a positive energy, we attract positive people. Don’t believe me? Look around you and notice people who are truly positive and what type of people surround them. Then look at those who are negative and see who, if anyone, surrounds them. (This is by the way where the German saying comes from “zeige mir wer Deine Freunde sind und ich sage Dir wer Du bist” Show me who your friends are and I tell you who you are). So if we are sending wishy washy as our energy, what do we expect to come back to us?
If I want a new job and a recruiter asks me what type of job I am looking for and I reply “anything really,” what do you think will come back to me (if anything at all)? If someone asks you “what kind of relationship are you looking for?” and your answer is “I just want a cute guy who likes me,” what do you think you create with that? First of all, define “cute” to the universe, or as an energy! Good luck with that! This is why I have always believed in the importance of absolute clarity in what I want and I can attest to how well this works for me.
A few years ago I was house hunting. At this point there were literally hundreds of houses to pick from. I knew I had to be specific, so I wrote down that I wanted a house with 3 bedrooms, at least 2 1/2 baths, a minimum of 1,400 sq.ft., two stories, a town house (because I didn’t want to worry about exterior painting or paving) and not further East than Azusa. I carried this list with me and this is what I ended up with about 1 month later: a town house in Azusa, two stories, 1497 sq.ft., 3 bedrooms, 3 baths.
After Yahoo laid me off I really didn’t want to work in search marketing anymore. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do and for this time nothing manifested. I got annoyed and finally told my husband that I wanted to hunt bad guys for gaming, because I love gaming. About 6 weeks later I ended up in a large gaming company, building their fraud department.
After the relationship before my husband ended, I was so heartbroken that I didn’t want to meet anyone. I was bitter, sad, disappointed and I lost my faith in relationships. When I finally decided that a broken heart was not worth giving up on my ideals of romance and love, I made a list, encouraged by one of my best friends. The list contained two columns, “Must Have” and “Compromisable.” I was VERY specific in my list and left any superficial thing out. For example, I wanted to put that I prefer “tall” but my friend asked what I would do if my perfect mate is not so tall. She told me to instead put “must have chemistry with the person.” Chemistry includes all of it, attraction and desire. Hence, I wrote “must have chemistry with the person and must be sexually compatible.” I carried said list with me in my wallet and met Andrew, my husband, about three months later. I still carry my list in my wallet, btw! It is another reminder of how accurately this technique has always worked for me. When I look at my husband, he is every point on my must have column and even most of the points on the compromisable column. The rule my friend told me was that, under no circumstance, could I compromise on the “Must Haves.”
Equally important was being specific in who I wanted to be! So I created a list for things I wanted to change within me. I also included thanking the universe for all the great friends I did have. By doing so, I found a deep and profound appreciation for all the people and things that DID surround me, versus the people and things that did not. My appreciation was so overwhelming that I made another promise to myself and the universe, which stated that I would never settle again. That from now on, I would live my heart’s desire and that any relationships, situations, friendships and jobs that would not be true to that, or to becoming my higher self were no longer tolerated, or acceptable in my life.
Needless to say, I think THIS was the biggest and strongest word I could put out there. I met Andrew THREE DAYS after that (and yes, three months after the list). I think this is why it is so important to know who you are and what you want before you are manifesting the best in life. How could you possibly manifest anything of large magnitude, if you do not even know how to visualize it, or what “it” exactly entails? So I am saying to those who doubt “Love thyself and know thyself!” If you expect the best, you truly will get it. At least that has been my experience, many lists and years later down the road 
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