02.04.10
Expect the Best – and get it
In management I learned one of the most important management tools, which said that you should always strive to manage to a person’s strength, instead of focusing on their weaknesses. When people are in an environment where 75% of the time they get to do what they like and what they are good at, you end up with really productive teams and very happy people.
I have found that everything I have learned in management also applies for one’s personal life. However, this doesn’t seem as blatantly obvious to others as it is for me. I figured that there are things I can share that may explain a little better what I mean by the importance of being specific and clear.
Let’s say for a moment you are at work and you are scheduled for your quarterly review. Let’s assume you are scored on your communication skills, and you have received an average mark. When you ask your manager/supervisor why you received an average instead of outstanding score, your manager tells you something like “well, I remember an incident a couple months ago where in a meeting you said something offensive.” How are you going to learn from this? One of the first things one learns in management is to be specific and to coach as soon as the opportunity arises, and as soon as the incident is not yet forgotten. Communication in this area should always be very specific, namely what the “mistake” was and how you expect a person to fix it/conduct themselves in the future, etc.
Now transfer that philosophy to life. Let’s assume you are NOT an atheist who only believes in science. Regardless of what your faith is, I do believe that each action has a reaction. Each one of our behaviors, words, actions, emotions and thoughts create some kind of energy that surrounds us. If we are sending negative energy, we receive negative energy. If we are a positive energy, we attract positive people. Don’t believe me? Look around you and notice people who are truly positive and what type of people surround them. Then look at those who are negative and see who, if anyone, surrounds them. (This is by the way where the German saying comes from “zeige mir wer Deine Freunde sind und ich sage Dir wer Du bist” Show me who your friends are and I tell you who you are). So if we are sending wishy washy as our energy, what do we expect to come back to us?
If I want a new job and a recruiter asks me what type of job I am looking for and I reply “anything really,” what do you think will come back to me (if anything at all)? If someone asks you “what kind of relationship are you looking for?” and your answer is “I just want a cute guy who likes me,” what do you think you create with that? First of all, define “cute” to the universe, or as an energy! Good luck with that! This is why I have always believed in the importance of absolute clarity in what I want and I can attest to how well this works for me.
A few years ago I was house hunting. At this point there were literally hundreds of houses to pick from. I knew I had to be specific, so I wrote down that I wanted a house with 3 bedrooms, at least 2 1/2 baths, a minimum of 1,400 sq.ft., two stories, a town house (because I didn’t want to worry about exterior painting or paving) and not further East than Azusa. I carried this list with me and this is what I ended up with about 1 month later: a town house in Azusa, two stories, 1497 sq.ft., 3 bedrooms, 3 baths.
After Yahoo laid me off I really didn’t want to work in search marketing anymore. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do and for this time nothing manifested. I got annoyed and finally told my husband that I wanted to hunt bad guys for gaming, because I love gaming. About 6 weeks later I ended up in a large gaming company, building their fraud department.
After the relationship before my husband ended, I was so heartbroken that I didn’t want to meet anyone. I was bitter, sad, disappointed and I lost my faith in relationships. When I finally decided that a broken heart was not worth giving up on my ideals of romance and love, I made a list, encouraged by one of my best friends. The list contained two columns, “Must Have” and “Compromisable.” I was VERY specific in my list and left any superficial thing out. For example, I wanted to put that I prefer “tall” but my friend asked what I would do if my perfect mate is not so tall. She told me to instead put “must have chemistry with the person.” Chemistry includes all of it, attraction and desire. Hence, I wrote “must have chemistry with the person and must be sexually compatible.” I carried said list with me in my wallet and met Andrew, my husband, about three months later. I still carry my list in my wallet, btw! It is another reminder of how accurately this technique has always worked for me. When I look at my husband, he is every point on my must have column and even most of the points on the compromisable column. The rule my friend told me was that, under no circumstance, could I compromise on the “Must Haves.”
Equally important was being specific in who I wanted to be! So I created a list for things I wanted to change within me. I also included thanking the universe for all the great friends I did have. By doing so, I found a deep and profound appreciation for all the people and things that DID surround me, versus the people and things that did not. My appreciation was so overwhelming that I made another promise to myself and the universe, which stated that I would never settle again. That from now on, I would live my heart’s desire and that any relationships, situations, friendships and jobs that would not be true to that, or to becoming my higher self were no longer tolerated, or acceptable in my life.
Needless to say, I think THIS was the biggest and strongest word I could put out there. I met Andrew THREE DAYS after that (and yes, three months after the list). I think this is why it is so important to know who you are and what you want before you are manifesting the best in life. How could you possibly manifest anything of large magnitude, if you do not even know how to visualize it, or what “it” exactly entails? So I am saying to those who doubt “Love thyself and know thyself!” If you expect the best, you truly will get it. At least that has been my experience, many lists and years later down the road 
