02.17.10
Posted in Human Behavior at 2:34 pm by PsychicDonut
Today I received this lovely piece of spam. As usual, do NOT click on the link (unless you want a pretty key-logger installed on your system that steals all your personal data).
Again, never, never, never click on links that seem to come from your financial institution! Always go directly to the URL for your bank and inquire about any supposed emails. Remember that any legitimate business or bank will never ask for your password and will definitely not threaten to close an account, unless you provide personal information to an inserted email.
Then there is the obvious, which may not be so obvious to some, NO legitimate business will have a free gmail, yahoo, hotmail, msn, ymail, live or rocketmail, etc. account and give you a ridiculous email like chasebankservices@yahoo.com.
Another good indicator, most of these phishing attempts are not actual emails, but images, such as the one below.
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02.10.10
Posted in Human Behavior at 11:34 am by PsychicDonut
No, you did NOT win the lottery and while this one is almost humorous in its horrific English, there are people out there who would potentially believe this to be real, simply by how it looks (this specific scam had a bunch of UPS logos on the top)
UPS West London Centre353 Regis Road, Kentish RoadLondon, NW5 3UP.Email: upsdp-delivry@live.com
Good day to you. We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Confirmable Package that is registered with us for shipping of your Package to Your residential location. This is to inform you that we are in possession of your Parcel which includes a certified cheque worth of £250,000.00 and other vital documents that we facilitate the clearance of the cheque in your country. Be rest assured that, your cheque has been confirmed valid and true and delivery will be made once you have met the necessary requirements.
Note: That as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your information’s, it will take only two working days (48 hours) for your package to arrive it designated destination.
This is mandatory, kindly complete the below form to reconfirm your Postal information:
FULL NAMES: ………………………………………………….
TELEPHONE: …………………………………………………..
ADDRESS: …………………………………………………………
POSTAL: ……………………………………………………………
OCCUPATION: ………………………………………………….
STATE: ………………………………………………………………
COUNTRY: ………………………………………………………..
For your information, the Mail, VAT & Shipping fees have been paid by the Lottery Award Promo Board before your package was registered. What you need to pay is the Security keeping fee of the UPS Company as stated in our privacy terms & condition page, in order to secure your Package. The cost for the Security keeping fee is £185 GBP. Simply contact our UPS DELIVERY MANAGER Mr. Jerry Morgan, at Email: upsdp-delivry@live.com
Tel: +(44) 70240-12535
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01.26.10
Posted in Human Behavior, Life at 9:59 am by PsychicDonut
There are so many lessons I have yet to learn. I have learned a lot within the past year, and some things are still lingering. These are the ones that are the most deeply ingrained and the hardest to learn.
I tend to write my frustrations about the human race down, by turning to my blog. I rant about the things that deeply bother me and the ones I simply cannot grasp. I usually try to find some kind of sense when writing about the behaviors of people who seem so intelligent. It took me a while to realize that intelligence has nothing to do with self-awareness, or how well your life turns out, for that matter. It seems that intelligence would lead you to make better decisions, but I do know first hand that this isn’t the case.
Because I understand pain so well, I naturally flock to it and want to fix it. I am an equal opportunity rescuer. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, the more broken you are, the more I am, oh wait, used to be, willing to jump in to rescue you, fix you or try to help you. The lengths I would go through are insane and would range from financial help to taking people into my home, just to name a few.
The interesting thing is that I can get so frustrated when I write and come across so harsh, and yet in real life, I’d be choosing my words not only wisely, but often I wouldn’t confront people at all. Those who know me well also know that it takes me a long time to open my mouth in a harsh way and even longer to call it quits. I would swallow my frustration, sadness and whatever else they’d bring up for years.
This is the one lesson I haven’t learned yet. I used to be almost offended when certain teachings would talk about letting go of people who no longer serve you. A lot of people didn’t serve me, but I served them really well. After all, the Virgo is the sign of servitude and industriousness. We generally do well with the types who need others to build them up, serve them and make them feel better, because we tend to keep giving of ourselves until we “break.” Once we feel spent, it can get ugly, but we generally still won’t walk.
It is the lesson I have the hardest time with. Instead of trying to keep modifying my message to be more understanding and more giving and more gentle, I am learning that for some people there is no way they get it. There is no way I can modify my words or attitude to make them understand, because they are too far entangled into their stories of not getting it and of nothing being their fault/having no power whatsoever.
I wished I would have learned this lesson earlier in life. I have spent many years trying to help fix broken people. The cost was pretty dire in some cases and nearly did me in a few years ago. There is only so much life, energy and heart one can suck out of you, before you crash. I crashed and had to learn to build myself up and do a better job. I didn’t though, for another 2 years. It is, after all, my taught duty to just take it to the chin and keep trying.
I am getting closer to grasping this lesson of letting go of people and situations who no longer/don’t serve my well-being at all. What is the point of keeping anyone who keeps making you miserable, who you don’t respect, who you can’t bear to listen to and who drives you crazy most of the time? And no, I am not only talking about relationships, but also about friends, companies and co-workers. I guess, for me the point always was to hope that one day they’d wake up. Well, 99% of them never did, to this day.
So last night I dreamt of my best friend in Germany. My best friend when I was a teenager and the equivalent to my sister. That is until she became a heroin addict. She has been hooked on this crap for well over 10 years. She is too far gone and at this point, the chances that she will EVER get off of it are slim to none. So, last night I dreamt that she was homeless now and that her 7 year old daughter was living with her on the streets. She was carrying nothing but a basket of dirty laundry, which she was bringing to a laundry mat. She was dressed all in black; black sweat pants, and a black hoody, with the hood moved deep into her face. She was a walking skeleton, deep circles under her eyes and walking like an old woman.
In my dream I drove by her in the car on the way to the airport. And my other friend said “don’t look, Carmen. It IS her!” I felt my heart breaking and I leaned over to hold on to my friend and started crying for the woman who once was my sister and now is “dead.” The last time I saw her, she said “I wished you would have never moved to the States. If you would have stayed here, I would have never gotten hooked on this shit.” This is when I walked away and never saw her again after.
There was/is nothing I could do. When someone is so deep in denial that they look back at their life and all they can say is “if x, y and z wouldn’t have happened, I’d be a better person now,” while continuing their self-destructive ways, I must turn away. And yet, it is ripping my heart out, for how would I be me, if I am not a person with deep compassion for those who screw up their own lives?
All these broken souls have worn me out. I think THAT is the reason that I am so angry and harsh at times. I think I have to just learn to walk and not look back, so I can be the best I can be. I am dreading this lesson more than anything else. It is so hard for me to let go, even of those who have hurt me deeply, humiliated me, bad-mouthed me or let me down. I still keep thinking that it somehow “wasn’t their fault.” And so, I have spent years feeding into them remaining the same and not learning anything at all. Now I am learning when to really walk away and that is going so far against my grain that it hurts a lot. But at the end of the day, you can’t unlearn the things you’ve learned, so I guess, onward I go.
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01.13.10
Posted in Human Behavior, Things that annoy me at 9:27 am by PsychicDonut
It never ceases to amaze me how unprofessional and stupid some people can be, all the while claiming how intelligent and great they think they are.
Social networking and Twitter are the new fads. Granted, I do not have a Twitter account. I don’t consider my life even remotely interesting enough to have constant status updates, I don’t have the time for it and I don’t want people to know what I am doing every single moment of my day. Not to mention that there are times/days when I simply don’t feel like saying a whole lot anyway. But, to each its own, and I have actually seen philosophical or inspirational messages from Twitter accounts, versus the “I just went to the bathroom” ones.
What truly amazes me though is when people have bosses, or even just other co-workers as their FB, MySpace or Twitter friends (I am not sure how Twitter works, so I assume it’s on a friend basis too), and then wonder when they get in trouble for it.
What do you think will happen if you are not meeting job expectations, telling your boss that you have some personal issues, ask for understanding and then post on FB how bored you are…while your boss is on your friends list?! Or how about badmouthing your boss, your co-workers or your company and posting this stuff publicly?
I simply don’t get it. I also don’t understand employees who are told by managers to leave the social networking to their personal time and then keep sitting at their desk, spending time on FB, MySpace, Livejournal, etc., while their boss sits across/behind/next to them. These are the same delusional individuals who then look you straight in the eye and say “I didn’t do it.”
People really don’t seem to have a lot of common sense! I don’t know if you ever noticed that I generally will not give details about people and their specific behaviors. I usually keep my commentary general, never use names and usually even try to refrain from revealing genders. The details I reserve for my book “Managing the Delusional.” 
But seriously! How is it that common sense, decency, integrity and ethics are missing in our society these days? What is going on with so many expecting a whole bunch for nothing and having a huge sense of entitlement? What happened to being accountable and what is going on with getting defensive when there are consequences to your own behaviors. Have people still not learned that the quality of one’s life and one’s own success is directly proportional to one’s actions, words, thoughts and emotions. And how does it happen that you feel you have the right to comment on a company’s or manager’s decision, when you definitely do not have the insight to even know what really happened, or what was behind a certain decision. Trust me, when your friend got fired he/she is not going to tell you the true reason. How many people do you know who will say “yeah, I got fired because I didn’t do my job/violated policies,” etc.?
These concepts are all so foreign to me. I really, honestly do not understand that any individual who keeps getting coached for the same issues, keeps being told the same stuff cannot succumb to sheer numbers. There is a simple rule of thumb If ONE person says something, oh well, if TEN people say the same, IT MIGHT JUST BE YOU! What happened to respect, as well? If my boss would EVER have had to come to me to tell me to be on time, lay off of the social networking, etc. I would have felt like a complete douche, apologized and immediately altered my behavior. Why? Because if a manager notices such things, it means I overdid it. End of story! It would not occur to me to start arguing or even defending my point.
What happened to having pride in one’s work. If you really do feel that your job, the company and the boss stinks, you shouldn’t be there! You have a choice, if you don’t like it, leave! If you choose to stay, then do your job and do it well. My mother was a cleaning woman, which was hard labor. She was a cleaning woman in a huge museum, using good old fashioned mops, water and floor waxing machines. Guess what? She didn’t call in sick when she wasn’t, she didn’t get in late, leave early and she didn’t cut corners. This is what she was doing and getting paid for. In her mind that meant that she had to do the best she can at it, and my brother and I have been lucky enough to having learned that from her. You respect your superiors, you do the best job you can and you don’t expect anything for nothing.
Before I moved to the States my friends in Germany told me how I had to watch out from getting fired here. In their head, everyone here gets fired for no reason. It is hard to fire someone in Germany, because almost everything is unionized and the labor laws are much stricter. But when I started my path in management, I realized how impossible, or excruciatingly hard it is to get rid of bad performers here. And I do want to add that I have always been understanding if someone is hitting a rough spot in their life. When I say bad performance, I mean people who game the systems, blame everyone else, have a huge sense of entitlement and have not an ounce of integrity or accountability.
I really need to start writing my book!
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01.06.10
Posted in Human Behavior at 1:31 am by PsychicDonut
After years of observing, pondering and experiencing, I came to realize what happiness truly is, and also what it is not. I used to think that happiness is all about having certain things, or a certain sense of status. I had it wrong for a while, and that is ok.
I sat there on New Year’s Eve, surrounded by a bunch of cool people, but most importantly, with my husband. I watched him interact with others and would catch the occasional glimpse of him at me. When the clock struck midnight, we all hugged and the world was great. I thought about how most people will probably make new year’s resolutions and I was happy that I didn’t have to. I had already started changing the things I didn’t like and I was working hard on them, with the exception of one thing, letting go.
It isn’t easy but with Andrew by my side it is a hell of a lot easier than it has ever been. So quietly I sat my butt down and grabbed my BlackBerry. I opened my contacts and slowly went through well over 100 of them, and then started deleting. It wasn’t a vicious or angry thing, I felt at peace and all I could think was “out with all of those who no longer serve your well-being.” Trust me, this was hard for me. I have collected “bodies” for years, always feeling guilty when I didn’t want a specific person in my life anymore. Always feeling I owed something to someone and having a strange sense of loyalty to anyone who has ever done anything nice for me, even if they later on reversed that by doing or saying not so nice things.
Andrew glanced over and asked me what I was doing, since I was so quiet. I smiled and told him that I was “cleaning house.” My life is truly new and great. All the last pieces of “bad stuff” have been left behind when 2009 ended. There are still some things in my heart that will probably take a while to heal, some images in my mind that will take a while to replace, but it keeps getting easier. With each passing day of being reassured by a man who truly loves and adores me, exactly the way I am, I feel safer to speak my truth even more, to care less what others are thinking and to focus more on that/those that are important to me.
Working out has a big part in this too. It clears my head and provides me with “happy” thoughts, almost like a drug. I have lost two sizes, and well over 10 lbs., and finally I have more energy and don’t constantly feel exhausted and tired, physically and mentally. These days I am truly only surrounded by people who inspire me and truly care about me. By casting out all the crap and bad stuff, including bad people, I have started to attract more light, more happiness and truly amazing individuals.
I still do get angry and annoyed at victims, martyrs, people without accountability and those who have no spine. But since there aren’t too many of that type around me anymore, I feel less defensive and less inclined to open my mouth, unless I feel it is necessary. I am happy that my husband tells me how proud he is of me and my courage and that I inspire him with my straight forwardness. I am finally in a place where I am no longer around those who get defensive, feel insulted, offended or want to lecture me about my opinions, and essentially my truth, but I am around those who nudge me, telling me “I am glad you opened your mouth,” or “I do know who you are and I get where you are coming from.”
I am really starting to feel what true happiness feels like. It’s a new territory, but it definitely is the best way to be. I am finally in the place where my words are no longer considered a weapon or sword, but are doing what I always intended them to do, inspire people to always strive for growth and to become a better person.
It feels good to “not give a damn.” It feels good to not be afraid anymore about being attacked, or put down, or belittled, or worse, being told “I think your level of integrity is awesome, but it doesn’t work like that for the rest of us.” It feels great to no longer care at all what some jerks may think when reading my blogs, because at the end of the day, my blogs are written for those who feel inspired by them, and the rest, well, the rest can just go and screw themselves.
Thanks, Andrew, for loving me as much as you do. You inspire me to keep trying to become a better woman.
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12.23.09
Posted in Human Behavior at 3:31 pm by PsychicDonut
This is the first year, ever, where I finished all my Christmas shopping on time, wrapped all the presents and have no loose ends! I am very proud of that!
So, before I depart to Santa Maria, I wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday season. May the new year bring you good fortune, happiness, health and lots of love
And I would also like to take this moment to post my favorite compliment for today, from one of my Facebook friends:
“you are an amazing person whose got a big heart and a ferocity that i haven’t seen in a while. Got any clones laying around?” Well, my answer was “there are numerous people out there that are truly happy that there aren’t any clones of me!
Love and Light
Your Crazy German Donut – Carmen
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12.10.09
Posted in Human Behavior at 10:18 am by PsychicDonut
Ah, how I love this meaningless phrase of weakness. I think the correct statement should be “I am making excuses and let them appear as if I am actually doing something.”
I have not met too many people who have succeeded trying. Let’s examine a few examples:
“I am trying to lose weight.” – Really? So how exactly are you trying? Either you eat less/different and work out, or you don’t. That is doing and these actions will have results. Sitting on one’s butt while shoving down another ice cream bar and watching TV is not going to get you anywhere.
“I am trying to have better relationships.” – How is this accomplished? Are you self-aware of your actions and words? Are you taking responsibility for your crap, or are you blaming others/pretending you are just fine? Think about what the results will be if you continue more of the same. Actively work on your attitude, your reactions to things, your mind and your perception, or don’t. But don’t claim you are trying.
“I am trying to find another job.” – How? Are you looking or not? Are you networking, talking to people, or do you expect your new employer to knock on your door without any action from you? Newsflash, it won’t happen!
Trying always implies an act of passive non-responsibility. It always implies being powerless and not having to actively do or change anything. This is why people who try usually fail. It is really like Yoda said in Star Wars “Do or don’t. There is no try.”
I have to admit that I generally try to avoid people who keep telling me that they are trying. I have my own experiences with trying and I tell you, when I said I was trying it pretty much always translated in to not doing a damn thing and finding excuses for continuing to not do anything. When I told people I was trying, it was a weak ass attempt to say that I think I want to change something, but don’t really want to put the time and effort in. When others told me they were trying it almost always meant that they are really not committed to any action at all, but are trying to shut me up, or to shut their own inner voice of reason or conscience up. Either way, results were generally not achieved.
All I am saying is to make up your mind. If you don’t really want to lose weight, want to find another job, change who you are, well, then don’t. But it would be much more authentic if you’d admitted to that versus lying to yourself and those around you by saying that you are trying. Trying is passive, doing is active. Hence, decide what you truly want, stand by that and go for it. How do we break any cycle? By being honest with ourselves and others. The rest is just…trying, and that is for sissies.
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12.04.09
Posted in Human Behavior at 6:58 pm by PsychicDonut
As per the request of my friend Rob, I am writing a blog about this 
A study hoping to compare men who watch porn with those who haven’t encountered it has been derailed — because researchers couldn’t find any men who hadn’t indulged in X-rated material.
Scientists at the University of Montreal had to change the focus of their project after failing to find a single male aged in his 20s who hadn’t been exposed to adult videos and images.
“We started our research seeking men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography,” the Telegraphreported Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse as saying.
“[But] we couldn’t find any.”
Surprised researchers decided to instead explore the men’s porn watching habits, finding the average age of first exposure was about 10 years old.
And while being in a relationship may not to completely remove porn from a man’s life, it does appear to cut their habit in half.
Single men watched adult content about three times a week for an average of 40 minutes, while those with partners watched it 1.7 times a week in about 20-minute blocks, the study said.
The abundance of pornography available on the internet has meant online content accounts for about 90 percent of porn viewed by men, while video stores about 10 percent.
So, this is supposed to be a shocker? I mean, I have never met a guy who has never seen porn. But, I am always a bit baffled at why porn is so alluring to anyone.
First of all, I managed the adult editorial teams/worked in adult editorial for Yahoo for years. Nothing out there shocks me and I know way too much about the topic. Hence, I also know how fake it all is. I guess, once someone has “worked” within the adult world and has seen a ton of it, it just becomes blah and kind of boring, and the focus shifts on how well they have touched up the scars from breast implants and to see which chick fakes it best.
But then, I am a female and apparently we are not as visual as the male of the species. And then, I would always have to admit that certain past experiences have left me kind of jaded when it comes to “adult entertainment.”
Yeah, yeah, I am well aware that all men watch it and seem to truly enjoy it, but I have always been one of the rare ones out there who would rather not participate in watching this stuff. I should also add here that most male porn stars are utterly ugly looking. The girls usually look hot but the guys are usually dogs; and unfortunately, I cannot refrain from looking at a person’s face in order to find them attractive. I guess one isn’t supposed to check out the faces in porn, but I can’t help the fact that I am more like a “package” person who needs to find all parts attractive in order to be turned on.
I have to admit, there are times when I wonder why my husband married me, ’cause I sure as hell am not an easy/mainstream person. But that is an entire other conversation. Thanks, Andrew, for loving me the way you do!!
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Posted in Human Behavior at 9:15 am by PsychicDonut
I found this article this morning and thought it was brilliant! Have at it, if you hate yourself and life:
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Rocker Tommy Lee once said we’re not here for a long time, we’re here for a good time. Amen, Tommy. Many of us follow his lead every day by shunning the most basic principle of Darwinian evolution?trying to survive?with food, toxins and reckless lifestyles. If you’d like to get in on the act, we present our easiest catalysts to self-destruction. Heather Whipps
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Monika Ziê´¥k / Stock.XCHNG
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Sacrifice Sleep
Inadequate sleep (less than 7 or 8 hours a night) has been tied to many different health problems, including obesity, diabetes and cancer. Mental fatigue is also as big of a risk factor for vehicular accidents as alcohol. And just think of all the time you’d have for destructive behavior if you shunned the zzz’s altogether!
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Carlos Paes / MorgueFile
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Ignore the Doctor
Many Americans agree that their health is hardly worth finding thirty minutes among 526,000 for that once-per-year physical exam. It’s a good tactic if early disease detection and important medical consultation are going to get in the way of your Tommy Lee lifestyle. If you don’t want to hear the doctor tell you our other tips for self-destruction are unhealthy, just don’t go.
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Jane M Sawyer / MorgueFile
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Dumb Down Your Brain
Reading, doing crosswords and tackling sudokus are all risky behaviors if you’re looking to avoid Alzheimer’s. The degenerative brain disease attacks almost everyone who lives long enough, though mind games and puzzles are known to ward off the effects.
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Stockxpert
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Have a Lot of Sex
Most people agree that sex in itself isn’t so bad, it’s how you do it that could mean life or death. The smart self-destructor doesn’t use protection, ignores the partner’s sexual history and shuns the annual medical exam. Twelve million Americans contract sexually transmitted diseases every year, many of which can leave the victim infertile. Killing yourself and preventing new births: there?s a two-fer!
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Christopher Potter / Stock.XCHNG
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Drive a Lot
If people wanted to increase their chance of surviving ’til a ripe old age, they’d fly everywhere. Driving kills more people aged 1 to 35 than anything else, a statistic that could drop to near zero if everyone just stayed home. But how fun would that be? So hit the road, forget the speed limit, yak on your cell phone?or worse, eat?and don’t buckle up if you’re anxious to become part of this popular statistic.
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Gregor Buir / Stock.XCHNG
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Drink a Lot
The occasional drink of alcohol, especially wine, can be beneficial to your health, many studies suggest. But if you’re looking to do yourself in, overdo the two-drink-per-day limit and imbibe heartily. Besides alcoholism of course, too much booze causes liver damage, diabetes and is the root cause of nearly 100,000 deaths per year.
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Ingrid M?/ Stock.XCHNG
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Stress Out
Creating more stress in your life is a great way to invite all kinds of diseases to attack the body. When you’re chronically stressed, the adrenal glands are forced to work overtime and eventually exhaust themselves, inhibiting the immune system. So go ahead and worry about everything from the color of your socks to whether dinner will be ready on time. Your hormones won’t know what hit them.
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com
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Watch TV
Not only is television entertaining, it can keep us on the couch for hours at a time several days per week. The average American spends a full 9 years of his life glued to the boob tube, years that could otherwise be spent exercising. Resist the urge! Being an obese, sedentary TV-addicted couch potato makes for speedy self-destruction, though you may be a little smarter (if you watch those nerdy science channels).
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Stockxpert
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Smoke
They don’t call them cancer sticks for nothing: Tobacco-related illnesses are America’s number two killer, and the most preventable. But if you’re bent on putting the kibosh to healthy living, go ahead and light up; just one cigarette will immediately increase your blood pressure and decrease the circulation to your extremities. Imagine what you could do with a pack.
10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
Photo Credit: Byron Solomon / Stock.XCHNG
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Eat Junk
Last year, at least 400,000 Americans managed to kill themselves based almost solely on what they ate. Heart disease is the country’s number one killer and, while some of that comes from genetics, most of it’s due to the fat-laden, sugar-heavy junk we put in our bodies. Looking for the most effective, probably most enjoyable way to do yourself in? Have another doughnut. And make it cream-filled!
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11.15.09
Posted in Human Behavior at 12:47 pm by PsychicDonut
I did it! I survived the first week of “getting fit” hell. I log everything I eat and I am wearing my “Bodybugg,” which calculates calories burned, steps taken and activity levels. Turns out, I am actually burning more than I am consuming!
My muscles are so sore that I could barely move yesterday. It was as if I had been through the wringer. Every time I had to get up, bend over, walk up the stairs or reach for anything I cringed in pain. The odd thing is, I like it!
I mean, I don’t like the pain and I sure as hell don’t like working out so hard, but I have noticed an interesting thing when I do work with my trainer. When he has me do anything in front of a mirror, it is almost as if I see myself for the first time. I squint, the way you do when you are looking at something which is out of focus, and then think “whoa! What the hell happened? This isn’t you!”
The odd thing is that what my eyes see and what my mind sees are very different. My mind sees the healthy and slim me, my eyes see the reality. But the good thing is that my body strives very hard to match what it knows in its mind and spirit to be true. And there we have it again! The power of mind!
I have studied various “paths” and got very interested in quantum physics. Don’t get me started on the movie “What the Bleep do we know.” My husband hates this movie and things it’s the worst thing ever written, lol. But the gist of it all matches what I took so many years to study. Your conscious mind creates reality 100% based on what your subconscious mind dictates. Hence, positive thinking doesn’t work, as it only overwrites a whole bunch of negative thinking, which lies underneath it all and represents your core beliefs. This is why I am such a strong believer in hypnotherapy.
From the very first session I had with Kimberly, my hypnotherapist, I saw a very different me. I was sitting on a beach. I was dressed in white (everyone who knows me is aware that I don’t own a single piece of white clothing!), my hair was in a short, pixie haircut, all dyed black, I had my knees drawn in, my arms contently wrapped around them and stared at the water. My body was one I have NEVER had. Not even at the peak of my workout sessions. Yes, I was close when I did kickboxing and competitive Hapkido, but this body was that of a dancer. My body did not have fat. My stomach had skin folds, not fat rolls. My arm and leg muscles were long, like the ones a dancer, yoga person or pilates trainer has. I was looking at the sea feeling truly at peace with myself and the world. I looked at my tattoos, Horus on the left, Anubis to the right and smiled. When I got up, I was barefoot, strolling over to a group of children, watching them play ball. I was holding an apple.
This sounds crazy to all those who never studied magick, or never learned how to meditate. But to those who did, they will see what I am trying to say here. The truth is that it is this very image I have not been able to shake. As I said earlier, your mind will do anything in its power to match the images or messages you have programmed into your subconscious. Hence, my whole being truly strives for the image burned into my subconscious.
Yesterday I went to the hairdresser. Because I work out so much now and wash my hair every day, I decided to get rid of the secondary color and dye my hair all black again. I got it trimmed from a new hairstylist, as mine was not available. I walked out of the salon, came home and looked at the mirror, grinning. I have a solid black, pixie hair cut. It does not look like the picture I gave the stylist, but it looks 100% like the picture I saw in my mind’s eye, when sitting on the beach, in a not so different future. And so it all begins, right?
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