01.13.10
Posted in Things that make me happy at 3:20 pm by PsychicDonut
For as long as I can remember, I wanted to help people and safe the world. When I was in 2nd grade I decided I wanted to be an angel, or like Jesus. I had only two concepts in my head, the concept of right, or wrong. I wanted to do the right thing. Hence, when I got older I wanted to be a cop, a judge, a detective, a doctor, a nurse and a therapist. I never wanted to be something glamorous.
This desire and theme kept repeating itself throughout my life. I think I was about 15 or 16 when I started standing up for the kids/people who got bullied and by the time I was 17 I had a 2-year apprenticeship contract with the Municipal Court as a court administrator/paralegal.
I never was able to witness pain or injustice without opening my mouth. I simply HAD to interfere, even though I was scared to death at times. Being “me” meant standing on the other side of the fence, often against the “rest of the world.” While everyone excused their bad behaviors and kept doing them, I sat by myself writing poetry and reading books on unexplained phenomena. It was really lonely over there. I didn’t fit in with any cliques or groups. I tried them all, but at the end of the day, I hated how people behaved in herds. On their own they were often decent, but put them in a group and they turned on you in a heartbeat. Of course, for the same reason I didn’t like followers either, and when everyone felt it was our duty to do drugs and drink like fish when we were in our teens and twenties, I didn’t. I was the designated driver and quickly got bored watching people make fools out of themselves and turning into sleaze balls.
I have been this way for pretty much most of my life. I used to think it sucks and I hated that I wasn’t “like them.” I searched high and low for something or some people I could connect with and thankfully, as the years went by I found a few who fit the bill. Thankfully, I was also able to continue this in my professional life.
I do fraud prevention for a living. I manage credit card fraud and for me, this is the most rewarding career I could have chosen. I get to actively contribute in shutting down the jerks who steal identities, take over accounts of unsuspecting victims and make a living by scamming the innocent. I love my job and I love the people who are in my field.
There is something that literally happens each and every time I go to a vendor meeting, conference, or talk to others within the industry, which is this immediate “bond” that gets formed based on what we do. Every single person in this business works hard (sometimes underpaid and underappreciated) to make a difference. We are sometimes not on the top priority list for our companies, because we don’t generate revenue like a sales team does. We are the ones who act as your secret service, protecting your brand, the company’s integrity and innocent users from losing their identities, and we do it behind the scenes.
I don’t go to a “stupid job” every day for the sake of benefits and a paycheck. I do what I do, because I am excited about helping and making a difference AND getting paid for it. I have met so many incredibly smart, dedicated and awesome people within this field that I could not think of any better or other place to be, besides actually studying cyber forensics at the University of Alabama in Birmingham, lead by an incredibly awesome man named Gary Warner.
Forgive me for bringing this up again, but there are so many people in sales, project management and marketing who make a boat load of money, while a lot of those guys who work their butts off to protect the innocent are underpaid and underappreciated. This is why I like being around companies who specialize in nothing but fraud, be it with a product they created, or by consulting and connecting. There are a few companies who have caught on and truly realize how important it is to have a great risk management/fraud prevention team. These are usually also the same companies who truly understand the importance of great leadership and having integrity.
I am happy and privileged to be a part of this industry, that makes all our lives a little safer and easier. I am glad that I get to lead, showing others the importance of doing the right thing, even if it is easier to do the opposite at times. I think I am one of the few who can honestly say “I LOVE my career.”
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Posted in Human Behavior, Things that annoy me at 9:27 am by PsychicDonut
It never ceases to amaze me how unprofessional and stupid some people can be, all the while claiming how intelligent and great they think they are.
Social networking and Twitter are the new fads. Granted, I do not have a Twitter account. I don’t consider my life even remotely interesting enough to have constant status updates, I don’t have the time for it and I don’t want people to know what I am doing every single moment of my day. Not to mention that there are times/days when I simply don’t feel like saying a whole lot anyway. But, to each its own, and I have actually seen philosophical or inspirational messages from Twitter accounts, versus the “I just went to the bathroom” ones.
What truly amazes me though is when people have bosses, or even just other co-workers as their FB, MySpace or Twitter friends (I am not sure how Twitter works, so I assume it’s on a friend basis too), and then wonder when they get in trouble for it.
What do you think will happen if you are not meeting job expectations, telling your boss that you have some personal issues, ask for understanding and then post on FB how bored you are…while your boss is on your friends list?! Or how about badmouthing your boss, your co-workers or your company and posting this stuff publicly?
I simply don’t get it. I also don’t understand employees who are told by managers to leave the social networking to their personal time and then keep sitting at their desk, spending time on FB, MySpace, Livejournal, etc., while their boss sits across/behind/next to them. These are the same delusional individuals who then look you straight in the eye and say “I didn’t do it.”
People really don’t seem to have a lot of common sense! I don’t know if you ever noticed that I generally will not give details about people and their specific behaviors. I usually keep my commentary general, never use names and usually even try to refrain from revealing genders. The details I reserve for my book “Managing the Delusional.” 
But seriously! How is it that common sense, decency, integrity and ethics are missing in our society these days? What is going on with so many expecting a whole bunch for nothing and having a huge sense of entitlement? What happened to being accountable and what is going on with getting defensive when there are consequences to your own behaviors. Have people still not learned that the quality of one’s life and one’s own success is directly proportional to one’s actions, words, thoughts and emotions. And how does it happen that you feel you have the right to comment on a company’s or manager’s decision, when you definitely do not have the insight to even know what really happened, or what was behind a certain decision. Trust me, when your friend got fired he/she is not going to tell you the true reason. How many people do you know who will say “yeah, I got fired because I didn’t do my job/violated policies,” etc.?
These concepts are all so foreign to me. I really, honestly do not understand that any individual who keeps getting coached for the same issues, keeps being told the same stuff cannot succumb to sheer numbers. There is a simple rule of thumb If ONE person says something, oh well, if TEN people say the same, IT MIGHT JUST BE YOU! What happened to respect, as well? If my boss would EVER have had to come to me to tell me to be on time, lay off of the social networking, etc. I would have felt like a complete douche, apologized and immediately altered my behavior. Why? Because if a manager notices such things, it means I overdid it. End of story! It would not occur to me to start arguing or even defending my point.
What happened to having pride in one’s work. If you really do feel that your job, the company and the boss stinks, you shouldn’t be there! You have a choice, if you don’t like it, leave! If you choose to stay, then do your job and do it well. My mother was a cleaning woman, which was hard labor. She was a cleaning woman in a huge museum, using good old fashioned mops, water and floor waxing machines. Guess what? She didn’t call in sick when she wasn’t, she didn’t get in late, leave early and she didn’t cut corners. This is what she was doing and getting paid for. In her mind that meant that she had to do the best she can at it, and my brother and I have been lucky enough to having learned that from her. You respect your superiors, you do the best job you can and you don’t expect anything for nothing.
Before I moved to the States my friends in Germany told me how I had to watch out from getting fired here. In their head, everyone here gets fired for no reason. It is hard to fire someone in Germany, because almost everything is unionized and the labor laws are much stricter. But when I started my path in management, I realized how impossible, or excruciatingly hard it is to get rid of bad performers here. And I do want to add that I have always been understanding if someone is hitting a rough spot in their life. When I say bad performance, I mean people who game the systems, blame everyone else, have a huge sense of entitlement and have not an ounce of integrity or accountability.
I really need to start writing my book!
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01.12.10
Posted in Things that make me happy at 2:45 pm by PsychicDonut
I have posted a couple blogs lately on bad employees. However, I don’t think I have ever praised the ones who are doing an amazing job. Hence, I am using this post to list those who have taught me a lot about the manager I wanted to be and have inspired me to do the right thing, even if it would have been strategically better for me at times to do the opposite.
1. Horst Schmidt – my school teacher.
Horst had me from 7th grade on, all the way through graduation. This man stood by me no matter what. When I was about to screw up my apprenticeship at the court, he called up my boss and explained my situation to her. He was there for me like a father and I am in contact with him to this day. If more teachers would apply themselves the way he did, the world would be a better place. He also taught all of us to be accountable. He was fair and laid back, unless you tried to cheat the system.
2. Waltraud Hoppner – Municipal Court, Germany
Let me tell you about this woman. I was one confused and damaged teenager when I started my apprenticeship at the court, to become a court administrator/paralegal. She sure as hell had a hard time with me, because I couldn’t focus, and used being the class clown to overcompensate for my insecurities. She was my “teacher” and manager for two years and she believed in me. She consistently told me that I could do it, that I was intelligent and that I could be so much more, if I would apply myself. She lead with kindness and humor and she started my path into adulthood and business.
3. Bob Peterson – LRN
I think it is fair to say that I would not have been more ill cast in any career, than when I tried being an executive assistant. At my previous job I had one of those managers I vowed to never be. So when I started working for Bob I was a wreck. I was too afraid to talk to him, because I was used to being talked down to and being abused by my previous boss. After only one week Bob called me into his office and asked me what I was doing. He told me that he needed me to be his right hand and could not afford to have an assistant who was too afraid to even speak to him. When I weakly responded how I wasn’t sure that I had permission, his answer was “Have I ever NOT given you permission?” Bob turned my meek, scared demeanor into a competent assistant. He would call me into meetings grinning and announcing that he called me in because I obviously was one of the most creative people in the place (must have been my funny looks).
Bob never talked down to me, but he always treated me like an equal, even though he was an executive. When the company did a mass lay off he saved me and insured they didn’t let me go. I never forgot how kind, competent, intelligent and fair he was. I figured I wanted to be a boss like him one day.
4. Jae Sung – Yahoo
Poor Jae! He inherited me when I had very little management knowledge, and still felt I needed to speak my mind…ALWAYS! He taught me one of the most valuable lessons in business “Don’t ever horde responsibility or knowledge. If you do, people will just find a way to get around you and then you truly did make yourself obsolete!” I lead by that until today and have never withheld my knowledge or expertise from my employees. He taught me that the best manager is one who is truly not “needed,” but one who creates a team that is self-sufficient, competent and empowered. Jae never lost his cool and even though he left Yahoo years ago, he still has my back to this day.
Thanks Jae, this got me laid off at Yahoo, but I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world and when I am in management again, I will do it over! 
5. Jason Dorn – Yahoo
Jason taught me patience. He was the one who taught me how to deal with delusional folks. He taught me to not buy into people’s stories of victimhood and hold them accountable in a calm and straight forward manner. He fought for me, as he would for all of his direct reports. He is one of the smartest, most competent people I have ever met, and one of the few who are equally as good in project management, as he is in people management. Jason also never loses his cool, but is straight forward and doesn’t beat around the bush.
And here are a few people I didn’t report directly to, but they inspired me nontheless:
1. Erick Herring – LRN
Erick was one of the techy VPs and I assisted him when I didn’t have anything from Bob. Erick was the one who pointed out to me one day that I am probably at times my worst enemy. I told him how I am impressed with people who know so much about IT and technical stuff. He then asked me how many languages I speak and if I liked music. I told him that I know two languages fluently and studied Latin in school for a couple of years. I also told him that I loved singing and have an ear for music. He laughed and told me that math is in the same part of the brain as language and music, and that I am probably better at math or physics as I think I am. Turns out, he was right.
2. Kim Furzer – Yahoo
Kim wasn’t my direct boss. Well, she did manage me for a couple months, but that was only in the interim between managers. Kim taught me that having a strong personality is actually an asset in business. She taught me that it doesn’t matter how I dress or how many tattoos I sport, because the right people/company will immediately recognize my strengths and not care about that. She gave me more confidence and always encouraged my straight-forwardness.
3. Lynne Secrest – Yahoo
I can honestly say, there has never been a better HR director than this woman. Talk about a wealth of knowledge regarding workman’s comp, labor law, PIPs, coaching, performance management and all the other neat stuff one has to do as a manager. Lynne was highly regarded by everyone, executives, managers and employees. She was fair and always willing to help and man, she helped me out a lot with difficult employees or situations. I could always count on Lynne and when Yahoo laid her off for political reasons I was so outraged that I sent an email to Yahoo’s head of HR (no, I didn’t do this from an emotional spur of the moment place, but was encouraged by an executive, who told me “I may want to share my thoughts”). When Lynne got laid off the entire management and executive staff was outraged. But Lynne kept her good sense of humor and of course, being the woman she is, had a job within weeks. It was actually Lynne who redid my resume after Yahoo laid me off, haha. I miss working with her.
4. Reggie Davis – Yahoo
Talk about an inspiration! Reggie was both, an executive AND a lawyer. This makes generally a recipe for a true jerk in the business world, but not with Reggie. The man had a passion and integrity that blows mine to shreds. Never afraid to call it for what it is, speaking his mind and yet never making a fool out of himself. He was knowledgeable, incredibly intelligent, funny and highly loyal to the company and those who reported to him. Always willing to make people aware of issues with systems and policies, he ran a great ship in a battle he couldn’t have won. Hence, Reggie quit, after over 10 years. He taught me that being at the top does not equal being a jerk, self-serving, mean-spirited or indifferent.
I am definitely a better woman, employee and manager due to all of these folks. Hence, “thank you,” from the bottom of my heart. I wished there were more of you guys around!
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Posted in Things that annoy me at 9:47 am by PsychicDonut
Apparently, my rant about the beautiful employees of the world has caused some interest, and the material keeps flying my way. Turns out, delusion has really no end, and let’s face it, self-awareness and honesty with oneself is also highly overrated.
I am confused on the behavioral patterns. Imagine you are sitting in a meeting with a bunch of people. You are being asked what your progress on a specific project is and your answers are pretty limited to two choices “It isn’t my fault, because I have pointed fingers at others before and damn, you keep coming back to me and holding me accountable, when I didn’t do it,” or “it’s working for me!” Latter is a clear sign of a team player. “Well, too bad everything is going to hell for you guys, ’cause it’s working for me!” Should I mention now that these responses come from a lead? Probably not. How do you NOT feel like a total douche, and how is there no voice inside of you that wonders “geez, I keep getting the same feedback and results, I have nothing to show for. Maybe I AM the one who screwed up?”
What is wrong with companies? Why do they insist on thinking that a person that might be technically good will have leadership or management skills? And why is it that the incompetent morons in the work place don’t get fired, especially if they are not even full-time employees, but contractors or temps? Where are the brave souls of the world, who actually do have decision making power, when it comes to calling these guys on their crap? Why would you NOT take a person aside and hold them accountable for the role they have?
I have heard too many stories and witnessed a couple on my own, where one person was holding the company hostage. The company was so afraid to do something about these incompetent people, who divided up the work force and brought nothing but disruption and frustration to the floor, that they simply stood by and watched. I know of two people who were like that. They had given numerous reasons for immediate dismissal, but didn’t even get written up, because HR was too afraid of a law suit.
Somehow some corporations still haven’t learned the lesson. They keep putting project managers, IT guys and technically savvy people into management positions. They watch as these horrible managers run out one employee after another and how no one wants to work under them, and do nothing. Apparently, it is pretty easy to be promoted when you succeeded in a PROJECT, but not so easy to demote you if you terribly fail in management. I have met very few managers who are equally good at both.
My heart goes out to a bunch of people who are stuck with one such lead. A person who not only has yet to prove their worth, but keeps screwing up left and right, blaming everyone else and having accomplished nothing. The same person who keeps crying about being mistreated and disrespected on Facebook, while her co-workers have to work twice as hard to fix her mistakes, to then read her BS status updates on FB, which are an even bigger slap in the face.
Maybe in the future someone, somewhere will learn something from this. I do hope for a time where it is equally important to know what you are doing, to whom you know. And at the risk of sounding crazy, I DO believe that it is actually better, if you have to choose the lesser evil, to have a manager who may not know all the technical details, but knows how to lead and inspire. Until then, entire departments or teams are stuck with horrible leaders, who get the credit for the work they did, claiming they deserved it and feeling entitled to it. Worse, getting another great gig as a leader, doing the whole thing over again without consequences again, thereby keeping the cycle going.
I think it is most frustrating that these type of people won’t ever change. Being a victim or martyr is a way of being for some, who have perfected it to an art. There is no hope for them, because they don’t feel that they are doing something wrong to begin with. They don’t seek out coaching, or training but keep pointing fingers, keep feeling entitled and always being wronged. How bad is it, if you create the same reality day in and day out, year after year, and not ever wake up? And how easy is it to find like minded individuals, who never ever call you on it, but keep supporting you in your crap. And shall I say, when I went to a company gathering I didn’t see this incompetent lead sitting by herself. Nope, she was actually surrounded by a hand full of people who she has convinced about being the victim. And now tell me again that it doesn’t speak volumes about a person when you look at those they surround themselves with/call their friends. I quote again the German saying “Sag mir wer Deine Freunde sind, und ich sage Dir wer Du bist.” (Tell me who your friends are and I tell you who you are).
Thanks for the managers who coached me and called me on my crap, thereby making me a better leader. And thanks for the friends who do it in my personal life. And thank the universe for having the courage and self-awareness to seek those out who push me to become a better person, even if it stings at times.
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01.10.10
Posted in Marriage/Relationship Success Stories, Things that make me happy at 1:13 pm by PsychicDonut
So far this year has been amazing. My health is excellent, my body is shaping up really nice, the fat is falling off of me, my arms and legs are starting to look leaner and longer, and apparently people in Santa Maria all seem to think I am either a rock-star or actress, haha. Walking into any kind of store, or walking through the mall always turns heads. Then I get compliments on my hair and my boots, followed with the question if I am an actress or in a band. It cracks me up, because I don’t look that freaky and my tattoos are covered anyways. I think I should have changed my name to “Carma Phantasmagorica” when I became a citizen!
Anyway, this morning I was cleaning Andrew’s room and doing his laundry (because the maids only come once a week) and I thought about how happy I am. The main reason for that is my loss of fear. Fear has run my life for so long that it still feels a bit strange, almost as if one is missing an old relative, one you can’t really stand, but is nevertheless dear and known to you. The lack of fear has allowed me to do amazing things lately. Amazing, at least in my book. It has given me the ability to be absolutely truthful.
People always assume that I like confrontation. Given the fact that I tell people what I think of them, based on the blogs I write and how I have dealt with many situations, there are quite a few out there who assume that I am confrontational and combative by nature. It is the opposite! I absolutely despise it. I used to be horrified and allowed everyone to walk all over me out of fear that they would abandon me. I took an unbelievable amount of abuse and crap from people, because I was worried they’d badmouth me and walk out on me.
Everyone’s opinion mattered equally. It didn’t matter if the one who badmouthed me was a stupid loser, or someone who was close to me. I couldn’t stand the idea that anyone would think that I am not a good person, which I always worked so hard on being. It has always been important to me to have integrity, to be honest and to do good in the world and anyone who “hated” me or talked bad about me made me feel as if I failed. Hence, I would keep trying to proof people wrong, not realizing that sometimes there was simply nothing I could do to change a person’s mind, or the way they treated me.
These days I am no longer an equal opportunity people pleaser. I do realize that the opinions, thoughts and words of some people matter more than others. I learned that there is nothing I can do to safe some people, or make them wake up, or make them a “better” person. I realize that some people will never change, or have a very low chance of doing so and that I will not be the one who makes a difference in their life and brings them to their senses. I also remembered how occupying space with bodies who simply no longer serve my well-being, keeps those out who truly would and will.
I said in the prior blog how I deleted people from my contact list. Well, I asked the universe for help. There were a few individuals I simply could not shed. I still felt I needed to be there for them, or owed them something. Interestingly enough, the universe started taking them out one by one, starting already last fall. The freedom I feel from no longer being burdened with those I have to tip toe around and be careful about what I am saying or feeling, is unbelievable. It almost feels like euphoria.
I hold on to Andrew when I hug him and I want to squeeze him to death because of how happy he makes me. My biggest wish of finding the one, looking at each other and knowing instantly “this one is IT” was granted. To be with someone who loves me and needs me without being a weak, needy freak, is overwhelming. Having friends who encourage me by telling me all the great changes they have seen in me within the past few months makes me want to jump up and down.
I worked so hard. It feels as if I ran a marathon and after years reached some of the finish lines. I am still working out and still need to drop more weight to feel fully satisfied with my body, but that doesn’t scare me anymore. The weight is falling off, and it seems almost easy now, as eating right and working out hard has become part of my routine and a habit. Best compliment ever “you are so sexy,” from my husband. Watching his eyes on me and him telling me how he thinks all day long “this is my wife!” makes everything else out there, especially negativity unimportant.
Oh, and I did find a dog trainer for Andrew’s dogs. They are being trained for 5 weeks now and my kitties are safe and sound. After all, I could never give up my babies. Salem is my “son!”
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01.06.10
Posted in Human Behavior at 1:31 am by PsychicDonut
After years of observing, pondering and experiencing, I came to realize what happiness truly is, and also what it is not. I used to think that happiness is all about having certain things, or a certain sense of status. I had it wrong for a while, and that is ok.
I sat there on New Year’s Eve, surrounded by a bunch of cool people, but most importantly, with my husband. I watched him interact with others and would catch the occasional glimpse of him at me. When the clock struck midnight, we all hugged and the world was great. I thought about how most people will probably make new year’s resolutions and I was happy that I didn’t have to. I had already started changing the things I didn’t like and I was working hard on them, with the exception of one thing, letting go.
It isn’t easy but with Andrew by my side it is a hell of a lot easier than it has ever been. So quietly I sat my butt down and grabbed my BlackBerry. I opened my contacts and slowly went through well over 100 of them, and then started deleting. It wasn’t a vicious or angry thing, I felt at peace and all I could think was “out with all of those who no longer serve your well-being.” Trust me, this was hard for me. I have collected “bodies” for years, always feeling guilty when I didn’t want a specific person in my life anymore. Always feeling I owed something to someone and having a strange sense of loyalty to anyone who has ever done anything nice for me, even if they later on reversed that by doing or saying not so nice things.
Andrew glanced over and asked me what I was doing, since I was so quiet. I smiled and told him that I was “cleaning house.” My life is truly new and great. All the last pieces of “bad stuff” have been left behind when 2009 ended. There are still some things in my heart that will probably take a while to heal, some images in my mind that will take a while to replace, but it keeps getting easier. With each passing day of being reassured by a man who truly loves and adores me, exactly the way I am, I feel safer to speak my truth even more, to care less what others are thinking and to focus more on that/those that are important to me.
Working out has a big part in this too. It clears my head and provides me with “happy” thoughts, almost like a drug. I have lost two sizes, and well over 10 lbs., and finally I have more energy and don’t constantly feel exhausted and tired, physically and mentally. These days I am truly only surrounded by people who inspire me and truly care about me. By casting out all the crap and bad stuff, including bad people, I have started to attract more light, more happiness and truly amazing individuals.
I still do get angry and annoyed at victims, martyrs, people without accountability and those who have no spine. But since there aren’t too many of that type around me anymore, I feel less defensive and less inclined to open my mouth, unless I feel it is necessary. I am happy that my husband tells me how proud he is of me and my courage and that I inspire him with my straight forwardness. I am finally in a place where I am no longer around those who get defensive, feel insulted, offended or want to lecture me about my opinions, and essentially my truth, but I am around those who nudge me, telling me “I am glad you opened your mouth,” or “I do know who you are and I get where you are coming from.”
I am really starting to feel what true happiness feels like. It’s a new territory, but it definitely is the best way to be. I am finally in the place where my words are no longer considered a weapon or sword, but are doing what I always intended them to do, inspire people to always strive for growth and to become a better person.
It feels good to “not give a damn.” It feels good to not be afraid anymore about being attacked, or put down, or belittled, or worse, being told “I think your level of integrity is awesome, but it doesn’t work like that for the rest of us.” It feels great to no longer care at all what some jerks may think when reading my blogs, because at the end of the day, my blogs are written for those who feel inspired by them, and the rest, well, the rest can just go and screw themselves.
Thanks, Andrew, for loving me as much as you do. You inspire me to keep trying to become a better woman.
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01.03.10
Posted in Things that annoy me at 3:28 pm by PsychicDonut
Happy New Year! I am back and ready to hate again Ah, life is grand!
I went to a small gathering of people just recently. All these people happen to work in the movie industry, namely in the same company. All of these people equally disliked one single person, for being unprofessional, consistently screwing up, and of course, being the victim. So I dug a little deeper, because as we know, I am really interested in the Muppets of the world, and the more I heard, the more I remembered stories of my own. Working in the corporate world for many years has provided me with enough material to write a book. One day I will write this book, it’s going to be called “How to manage the delusional.”
But, back to the story at hand. So, this specific person has screwed up so many times that it is now a running joke in the office. For each screw up she has an excuse and shoker, it is always someone else’s fault! Of course, updates on Facebook include great comments about being too intimidating (apparently, she is not intimidating, just highly incompetent) and my personal favorite, she is being discriminated against/disrespected because she is a woman in man’s world!
The sad thing I have witnessed over and over, is that all of these horrible performers DO believe that THEY are being wronged! None of them are ever to blame for any of their poor performances, the fact that they got reprimanded, fired, or put on a PIP. They are all one big miserable family of unhappiness and they are all victims. YIKES!
Our Australian friends asked “so, how do these people keep finding employment?” Well, there is another great way of bullshitting your way through job interviews. First of all, none of these people will ever truly have recommendations from actual managers. Nope, their recommendations come from co-workers, or people from other teams who, of course, are buddies with them or like them, but have absolutely NO clue how these guys are performing in their jobs. I know people who claim to have been managers, when they never held a management role in life and how would a future employee know this, unless he checks with their previous managers? And in a world where what you know often counts less than who you know, it is quite explainable how some of the most incompetent people keep getting hired.
No, I am not going to share my own stories of the delusional people I have managed. And come to think of it, I haven’t had too many of them. There are a lot of good, hard-working and honest people out there, who do not have more issues than a Hollywood magazine stand! But when I heard how ONE person makes entire thralls of people miserable and then blogs on Facebook how she is the victim, without as much as a single ounce of self-awareness, or self-honesty, I want to puke yet again.
How does it happen that people wake up day after day, month after month, year after year, find themselves in the same shitty situation, friendships, lack of career, issues at work, issues with friends, etc and never once look in the mirror thinking “maybe it’s me, not them?!” I guess this is why I call them delusional. Dangerously unaware of who they are, they just bs their way through life, wondering why everyone else around them is “so lucky” and they work so hard and keep getting disrespected and abused.
It’s 2010, more of the same for some, and better things for others, namely those who actually learn something from their screw ups/are honest with themselves. A thing one of my previous managers said to me yesterday was something to the effect of “it’s the people who claim to be good people, who claim they don’t know who are truly scary. Because how would you stop yourself from keep doing the wrong thing, if you don’t even think what you are doing is wrong?” I have an answer! Free therapy for all the screwed up people out there. Oh wait, I forgot, they tend to be the ones who claim they don’t need therapy. Never mind 
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12.23.09
Posted in Human Behavior at 3:31 pm by PsychicDonut
This is the first year, ever, where I finished all my Christmas shopping on time, wrapped all the presents and have no loose ends! I am very proud of that!
So, before I depart to Santa Maria, I wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday season. May the new year bring you good fortune, happiness, health and lots of love
And I would also like to take this moment to post my favorite compliment for today, from one of my Facebook friends:
“you are an amazing person whose got a big heart and a ferocity that i haven’t seen in a while. Got any clones laying around?” Well, my answer was “there are numerous people out there that are truly happy that there aren’t any clones of me!
Love and Light
Your Crazy German Donut – Carmen
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12.22.09
Posted in Things that make me happy at 5:51 pm by PsychicDonut
The results from the first 6 weeks of working out hard are back. I have lost 2 1/2% of body fat, 3 inches in my waist, 1/2″ on my hips and thigh and one inch on my chest. Now, let me make one thing clear. I have NO intention of becoming bulky. I always thought that female body builders looked horrible. And while I do understand that it is a matter of taste, I firmly believe that we women should have T&A, hips and curves. I just don’t want to be wobbly anymore.
To me this is much more about being healthy and looking GOOD!, than being some freak show. I do enjoy losing inches and fat, because it affords me the luxury of buying clothes that I like without having to worry that I won’t look good in them, or fit into them.
I never did like the idea of women developing huge biceps and triceps, or having a six-pack stomach. I always preferred the body of dancers or yoga instructors. They tend to look lean, but feminine and soft. My trainer knows this too, because one has to set goals when one starts working out. This is why I have to do so much cardio, namely 4 times a week for 30 minutes. But without cardio one won’t lose the ROBs (rolls of blubber), and of course, my trainer “punishes” me for skipping it. So no, we don’t aim to be like this:
But more like this:
Namaste
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12.16.09
Posted in Things that make me happy at 6:31 pm by PsychicDonut
I found this article today and started laughing:
http://customsites.yahoo.com/financiallyfit/finance/article-108393-3513-3-gifts-gone-awry-what-not-to-give-your-mate-html?ywaad=ad0035
Why was this so funny? Because I have been on the receiving end of strange and awful gifts before. Luckily not too many times, but I do remember only one person handing me a whole bunch of gifts, one more awful than the other. Let’s recount what he gave me, and oh, none of it was wrapped. Here are the gifts, which were stacked up on my desk:
1. A self-made onion colored scarf. I assume he got it from his lost and found station at work. The scarf was in a Ziplock bag
2. A golf umbrella. I later on saw the exact same one at Albertson’s in the check-out lane for $5.99
3. Gloves – size L (if you know my hands, that by itself is funny)
4. A copy of his CD. His music was horrid and my roommate and I later on used said CD to play Frisbee and then break it.
5. A portable CD player
6. A tin of girl scout cookies…from his daughter’s batch…which I helped sell at my office.
To this day, no one has ever beaten the amount of thoughtless disrespect this prick showed. I should also mention that he, to this day, ranks number one on the list of douche bags encountered in my life.
Now, on a lighter note 
Gifts ARE important! To me they are. Not the amount spent on them, but the thought put into it. If someone gives me a nice smelling candle, preferably pumpkin or apple cider scented, I am happy. Handing me a gift certificate for Von’s = not happy, even if the gift certificate would be for $100. Why? Because the second gift, even much more valuable from a monetary point of view, would clearly show a lack of effort and total disregard for who I am. I’d be disappointed. No, I would never shun a gift. And trust me, when the above set of items were given, I thanked him, smiled and then locked myself in the bathroom to wipe off the tears.
Reading “rules” on what to give women makes me laugh. Apparently, I am not a typical woman. I would absolutely be happy about a vacuum cleaner, if it is a nifty robot kind, hehe. I remember a friend giving me a Swiffer for a house-warming gift. Never has there been a happier Virgo! We love practical gifts, given that we ask for it/need it. I asked my husband for a robot coffee machine this year and got it!
I don’t think it is fair to answer the question “what do you want for Christmas” with “nothing.” Why? Because women hardly ever mean that. They end up being hurt when the poor guy takes them literal. Hence, I do say what I like, want, etc. and I definitely would not say “nothing” unless I actually meant it.
Now, this year is different, because my poor husband is working every single day, including Saturday and Sundays, at a minimum of 12 hours. When would he have the time to go shopping for anything? He doesn’t even get to buy groceries. Hence, I stock up his fridge when I go up to see him on the weekend. But then, Andrew is so thoughtful in all other ways throughout the year that I would never feel that he forgot about me. Andrew never forgets about me. Hence, he is allowed to be “giftless.” His love is the biggest gift for me.
For the sake of good humor, I would like to hear what bizarre gifts you may have gotten from a significant other. Interestingly enough, whenever we do share stories like this, it turns out that predominantly former significant others gave us shitty gifts. Which reminds me of my bestest friend. Her Muppet ex gave her for their anniversary the following: a paper weight from CVS! For dinner he took her out for pizza!
Happy Holidays, and don’t be a Muppet, giving colon cleansing kits to your woman!
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